The New Boy // zianourry {Harry centric}

Chapter 14

Authors note: I had a brief plan of what I wanted to write for this chapter, but writing it never came about. Since I posted last night about why I've not updated, I had the sudden urge to give you guy a chapter; no matter how badly it's written. Like I said before hand, my update dates are inevitable. It can be tomorrow, or in a couple of weeks time. So for now, heres chapter 14. Excuse the awful writing, I did this around 3am.
TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️!!
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The mind link text:
Italics: Harry
Bold: Louis
Bold/underlined: Liam
Underlined: Niall
Underline/italics: Zayn
EDITTED: Names are next to who's saying what to make it easier. My italics ain't working so it's making it difficult to figure things out.
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Tears streamed down my face as I ran up to my front door.

Run. That's all I could do; all I could ever do. It feels like I will never be able to stop. Whenever it feels as though I could stop and live my life, all the negativity comes back to bite me in the ass. I can't do this again, I can't.

Violently slamming the door open, I rushed to the stairs and bolted up them, knowing that this would be the last time I'd climb up the stairs. Each step was a blur, as if my life was zooming past me, no chance to think. I didn't need to think.

I made my way inside the bathroom, slamming and locking the door behind me.

My life's a mess, and it always will be. I'll never be a real boy, all I am is this poor excuse of a boy. Zac was right, no one will ever love me and see me as real.

Zac was right, Zac was right, Zac was right.

I'm pathetic, I really am. Seriously, look in the mirror. You don't pass. Everyone will find out and beat the shit out of you again. Then mum will have to move again, all because of her messed up kid. If I wasn't here, she'd be better off. She could settled down, maybe find a boyfriend, find a full time job without fearing commitment. But she can't move on with her life because of me. I'm always the route of everyone's pain. I'm not supposed to be here.

Zac was right, Zac was right, Zac was right.

Frustration overcame me. My hands clung to my tightly wound curls, yanking them as a scream escaped my lungs. I screamed so loud my lungs felt like fire.

The next thing I knew, a hand banged rapidly on the door.

"Harry? What's going on? Are you okay? Open the door." The handle rattles as my
Mums voice questions me. "Harry, open to door!"

"No!" I screamed back.Panicking, I reached for the mirrored cabinet. My face is there, but I don't recognise the Person staring back at me. Tears were gathered in my eyes; I looked ghostly. This only brought more anger to flow within my veins, causing me to grasp the cabinet handle, open it, and grab my mums bottle of sleeping pills.

"Harry," More banging erupted on the door, "Harry, talk to me."

Tears pricked in the corners of my eyes as my hands shake with the adrenaline coursing around my body. "I  hate myself, mum! Why couldn't I have been born a boy? Everything would have been a lot easier! My mates would've had the fifth boy to their collection, one that actually had a dick! But what do I have? A female fucking body!", I paused, my throat cracking." I'll never be happy and all I do is let people down or push them away. Zac was right."

"Harry?", my mum asked with a raised questioning tone.

I didn't respond. Instead I brought the tube of pills up to my face and examined the bottle. Grasping on to  it, I closed into myself and shut my eyes.