The Pain of Loving Her

Chapter 1

"Damn" I say as I walk up the steps to the third floor of my school. After the previous two years you would think those steps would be easier but they aren't. I continue walking towards my locker trying to mask my heavy breathing. As I approach my locker Ontari and her boyfriend are practically making out on the floor. Okay making out may be a bit of an exaggeration but still its gross. Ontari sits up and looks up at me.

"Hey Lex. How was your summer? Did you play much golf? We are really hoping to get to regionals this year." Of course she would ask about golf. She is the team captain and her dad is the coach.

"Summer was good and I played golf with my dad a bunch. Really hoping to make it to regionals." I say this and smile hoping they can't see the lies I'm telling. Truth is my summer sucked and I haven't played golf at all. I hate golf the only reason I played it was to get an award in the 8th grade. My mother won't let me stop now though because she says it will look good on my resume.

I give a nod goodbye and walk down stairs. Once on the first floor I go to my best friend, Anya's, locker and sit. She is older than me and is already able to drive. I have to wait two more months before I get my license. I don't mind the bus though. Driving scares the shit out of me. This summer, when my family was in New York, they made drive. I had a complete panic attack. Tears were falling down my face and it was hard to breathe. They just laughed as they usually do.  As I sit remembering those lovely driving sessions I hear someone say my name. It's Anya. Thank the lord its almost time for the warning bell. I open her locker as she gets closer. Its funny her locker combination is mine except backwards. It just shows that we are meant to be best friends. She reaches to give me a hug and I return it but briefly. I don't like hugs. We just stand there talking about stupid little things when the warning bell rings. I turn to head toward my first class when I catch a flash of blonde hair. It was Clarke Griffin, my old best friend. We were super close back in freshman year. Then she went a bit crazy. She started doing drugs, partying, and having sex with anyone willing. We glance at each other and then I turn and walk down the hall and she returns her class. I really hope I don't have any classes with her.

It's finally fourth period, which means its lunch time. I walk into Spanish and go up to the teacher to get my seat. "Hi umm. I'm Lexa Woods."

"Oh hello. Nice to meet you," she scans the seating chart, "Woods you are seated at the second table in the seat right next to Miss Griffin."

I smile and turn. Great I think to myself. I go and sit avoiding her. Luckily, she is chatting away with Bellamy Blake. That's not surprising. She is such a flirt. The bell finally rings. The teacher says "Hello class. Before we start learning Spanish I would like to give you the class period today to talk amongst yourself and get to know the people at your table. Your table is the people you will being doing all your projects and stuff with. Since this is an upper level class you will be doing a lot of projects. Before you all get to excited there is a catch. You must talk in Spanish" The class groans. I just sit there and listen to Bellamy and Clarke not talk in Spanish. I start to gaze in the direction of the clock when I get a tap on the shoulder.

"Hey Lexa, its almost lunch time. I don't have anyone to sit. Is it cool if I sit with you?"

"Sure" is all I say.

The teacher dismisses us for lunch. Since its fourth lunch that means we come back to class after lunch for ten minutes so I leave my stuff in the classroom. I grab my drink and crackers and walk into the hallway. It then hits me that I should probably wait for Clarke. I turn and notice that she is still digging through her bad trying to find her lunch. Jesus why is she so slow. Finally she walks out of class and we walk down the hallway to the cafeteria. I spot Raven and Monty.  I go to sit with them. I start talking to them and Clarke joins in. By the end of lunch we are all laughing at the stupid pictures Monty is showing us.

The school day comes to an end and I get to go home. This is the only day for a while that I will have nothing to do after school. I sit at my desk reading a book when I start to think of Clarke. Damn. I didn't like her at all last year. I though I had finally completely pushed her away but no. She comes back in to my life and after one day we are friends again like there was no time that passed at all. There is just something about her that makes me want to be her friend.