Maybe I Have Feelings For You

Chapter nineteen: Top Secret

(Yes, that's me by the way)

At first I liked it, it made me feel more confident about myself for once after the trauma she put me through. But then I started to get bullied for it. People would call me smurf, and I wondered why. There's only one female smurf and she's blonde! Turns out it was Ash. She started the name and the rest of the school, thinking it was geniously hysterical decided to spread it around.

One day, we either had breakfast or lunch, the time era is a little fuzzy to me but she took a picture of me from across the other side of cafeteria and posted it on snapchat, calling me an "ugly ass smurf."

There was this one time she posted a rant on her Instagram about how if anyone asked about me to her one more time she would "hurt some people." Just little things to taunt me. The more she harassed me, the more the officer had to write an ongoing list of all the things she'd done. The list would continue to pile up.

Every time I reported Ash, her "punishment" was getting something known in the school known as ISS (in school suspension. Which is basically where you stay in a small room adjacent to the school's office and do homework all day, and you're always monitored by the administrators instead of attending your classes.) The more "punishments" she got, the more pissed she was and would continue to harass me.

This went on almost everyday for about six months. She terrorized me for six months! It was half the year in and I was terrified to go to school, I stayed home any chance I got. My grades were slipping but I didn't care; I was terrified about everything about school. I was scared to go into the bathroom alone, walk to my classes alone, or even eat my lunch alone. She was always there watching me and taunting me because of it I never felt safe.

And every time I would report her, the school never failed to remind me how I'm in a "safe" learning environment. Keep in mind that this was the same school where the bullying got so bad, that the superintendent's kid committed suicide.

And you think after that, they'd be a little more tough on bullying. But nope! The year after he ended his life, which was the same year this all happened to me, the school put up an anti-bullying motto called "Be Kind." But never used it.

A lot of people knew that their new motto was nothing but a mere joke. You can see why it's frustrating for a school to claim they're zero tolerance on bullying, when everything is really just hush-hush.

Then a miracle happened; a few months before the school year ended, she moved away upstate. But on her last day, she was more furious than ever. My phone started to blow up with messages, everyone was texting me warning me to leave the school immediately before she finds me.

Obviously, I was already long gone by then, but apparently Ash was bent on hurtng me once again, and she didn't care if she had to drag me out of my mom's car. Everyone on the bus heard her rant about it, including the bus driver. Though he knew that Ash's full intention was attacking me, the driver still let her off. He got in big trouble for it later on.

Anyways, after she moved, her friends claimed that it was my fault she's gone. That she's leaving because she, "had to pay for a ticket and because of that, she's homeless." Which A, wasn't true and B, if that's the case, maybe don't bully?

In late 2017, she found my snapchat and apologized for everything. I asked her what I did to make her hate me so much and this was her response. "Nothing. You did nothing wrong."

To this day, we still have each other on social media. Sure, it gives me a little anxiety whenever she says she's coming back in my hometown to visit friends and family, I'm not scared of her anymore though. Everything sort of worked itself out in the end...