(BTVS Dating Spike) Matching Blue

My Love

Weeks went by and Spike still wasn't there, he had been gone for such a long time it felt like things were empty with me. I had been patrolling with Buffy even though she went behind my back like that since Spike had left, hanging out with the scoobies was kind of awkward they all knew what was going on anyway between Buffy and I. I looked at the note which had the date he had wrote it on as well, Spike disappeared almost 3 weeks ago. The only thing I could do was wait- the phone downstairs started to ring I rushed for it "Hello?" "Hey Sam I knew you'd answer" "Oh Angel..." I said nervously "Is Spike with you?" "Um no he left weeks ago" "I think I saw him go down the road on a motorcycle, keep an eye I don't trust him" I sighed "Just cuz you don't doesn't mean-" "I'm not on here to argue I just want Buffy safe" "You didn't hear?" "Hear what?" "Buffy kissed Spike, that's why he went somewhere" I heard a slight inhale on the other side. 

I bit my lip hiding the smirk trying to understand his reaction "Well he's probably on his way to you now, he'd be a fool to lose you" he said sniffling "A-Are you crying?" "No. just brooding cuz you were the best thing that ever happened to me" "Well cheesy isn't that?" "Fine push my feelings aside, I'll be back in a bit to check on you guys" he said ending the call. I shrugged putting the phone down and taking a deep breath Spike was on his way home, me being excited was an understatement. The fact he had been gone for so long just put the anxiety on and blame that I did something knowing it was true. I went into the living room opening the curtain to see whether he was nearby, fortunately I had more waiting to do before he had arrived.

I watched as he pulled into my driveway the engine revving to turn off as he got off walking to the door, I went up to the wood opening it and my arms at the same time to see him fall to his knees hugging me sobbing I gasped "Baby what's wrong?" "Sam I really screwed up with you... I wanna make it up to you so bad but I ruined our relationship" "What? That's nonsense love I've been waiting for you this whole time, been going to school to get my mind off you" "I hurt you so much" he said sniffling. My long fingers went through his blonde ruffled hair "I had time to heal, no need to think things ended" I said closing the door above his head, hearing the click "I wanted things to be right, I want to be yours" I felt his tears staining my shirt the wetness clinging to my body as his arm gripped tight around my back.

I felt his body shake as he sobbed against me "I've always been yours Spike, I-" "Don't call me that right now please I hate myself so much all the stuff I've done" I rubbed the back of his neck trying to calm him down "Let's go sit on the couch love" I said "I don't deserve comfort" "but you deserve me" I told him kissing the top of his blonde curls. I felt him shake his head against me "You deserve someone who won't kill" I furrowed my eyebrows tugging him up to my level. Beside those diamond blues the whites of his eyes were bloodshot "Listen darling, I've killed as well we're vampires we can't control the thirst" I said rubbing his cheek gently with my thumb "Does that mean I don't deserve you either?" I asked looking into his tearful orbs. I watched as he swallowed the lump in his throat or at least tried to "You're too good for me Sam" "No I am not, you have always been the one for me I've never wanted anyone else but you let's go relax on the sofa we can talk more about this ok?" he nodded hesitantly.

Grabbing his hand guiding to the living room after I locked the door just in case I sat beside him "I have no place in this world without you" he said resting his forehead on my left shoulder. I shook my head "That's the farthest from true, you fit in so well you've helped so many people including me please tell me what's gotten you feeling this way" "I don't want you to get upset with me" "I could never, your the love of my life" reaching for his hand to rub "I left for those weeks... to get my soul back I hate the shit I did to you" "That just means you deserve me even more hon" I said moving his head to look at me "I-I do?" "You always have, you have changed into such a wonderful man after Dru I've been so proud" I said kissing his forehead "Have you slept much?" "Not really I-" "I'm letting you sleep in my bed, we can cuddle if you'd like" "Buffy would never give me this much affection" he mumbled. 

I stood up "So are you saying I'm better?" "I never wanted her love, I only want you" he said grabbing my hand and we went up the stairs "Do you want a bath before bed?" I asked "That could help with the burns" "B-Burns?" "Yeah that monster put me through hell to get to get that soul back and now all I can hear is the whispers from the dead telling me I'm a piece of-" "Hey your not, I'll get your bath set now" I said kissing his cheek then getting his clothes. I turned on the faucet to the right temperature for him putting bubbles and suds to calm him down. I left the room telling him where everything was waiting for him to get ready for bed, as soon as he got out of the bath we settled right in for bed hugging each other.