14 Days|✔️

Day 3- What Would An Egotistical Jerk Want With Me?

!!!!!!!!The song above is one of my favorites, but it does have a reference to drugs and alcohol. It may be mature for young readers. Watch at your own will. This is your warning.!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Day 3

Finley

         I wake up to the load ring of the alarm. I groan and rub that sleep out of my eyes. It feels like I've only been asleep for 8 seconds. I climb out of bed, and grab my robe before going to the bathroom.

    I turn on the hot water and wait for it to get warm. When it does, I take off my pajamas and get in. I wash my hair and body. I sit for a minute and let the water run over me, and just think. My eyes travel over to my razor. I pick it up and grab the can of shaving cream. I shave, but hesitate before putting the razor down. 

Whimpering I dig it into my skin and watch the blood run down the drain. I wash off, and get out of the shower. I dry my hair, and put it up into a loose ponytail. I put on a very small amount of makeup, and wrap my robe around my body.

         When I'm finally done, I walk to my room, and go stand in front of my closet to find my outfit. I end up settling for a black skater skirt that reaches mid thigh, and a periwinkle blue, cut off sweater. I put on a pair of black flats, and walk to my jewelry box. I put on my pearl necklace, and a leather braided bracelet. When I'm finally happy with my appearance I go downstairs to make breakfast.

     I know I have a chance to redo my life, but I'm starting to remember why I chose to kill myself in the first place, and I'm only three days in. It's never-ending. I have to make sure that everything is perfect all the time. I mean, I practically am raising my little brother, all while working a job, keeping my grades up, and taking care of house work. I should be allowed to have my life, a normal teen's life, but no. I'm stuck having to live the life of a single parent at the mere age of 16, all while going to school. That's a little messed up. Don't you think? Not only do I have to live with the knowledge that my mother doesn't care and my Dad committed suicide, but I half to deal with what happened 10 months ago too. I'm sick of having my life ripped away from me, because no one cares. I know that killing myself wasn't the right choice, I left my brother behind to deal with it all on his own, but there are so many other things that were brought by that, because I made the decision to swallow 6 too many prescription pills. Yes, at the moment that sounds rather appealing, but when you think about the long term affect, it isn't worth it. Yes, I know I'm depressed. Yes, I know that I should probably get help, but who am I going to tell? I can't tell my mom, and I have no one else. Plus, I can't think about that right now, I have to save Ryder, and I can't take anymore time out of my schedule. Oh, and not to mention I have someone's life in my hands! If I don't succeed Ryder is going to die, and so am I. That's a lot of pressure on a 16 year old girl's shoulders.

         I snap out of my thoughts, when I hear someone clear their throat. I turn around quickly and see my Mom. "Why are you crying," she asks, looking at me with an expression that says, "I don't really care, but I don't want to be rude."

 I bring my hand up to my face, and feel the tears on my face. I didn't even realize I was crying. What's wrong with me?

    "Um... hormones," I say unconvincingly, but she took it as a answer nonetheless. 

    "Okay, but I'll make breakfast this morning. Does french toast sound good," she asks. 

 I stare at her with a shocked expression,  "Are you sure?" 

     "Yes of course! Now go clean up your face, your makeup is running," she said giving me a small smile. I turn and start towards the bathroom, "Oh... and Finley... I love you."