"You're forcing yourself now. Do you think you have to continuously be there for Jigz? I mean you can be there for somebody without forcing yourself in a relationship you're obviously over."
"I'm not, we aren't together so there's nothing to force."
"You know you don't have to be the barrier of all his issues, right? You have your own life that's gonna come with its own issues. Why be smothered in somebody else's that has no problem shitting on you when times get hard. You can love and be there from afar. You wanna make sure he doesn't relapse right? You're scared it'll be your fault? Well let me tell you something it won't Ivy. Jayon is a big boy. That man has to stay off of drugs for himself first. He has to stay out of trouble for himself first. He has to do better for himself first, Tink."
"Stop, forcing it. Live for you. You and Mya first. Then what happens, happens."
"How do you know me so well?" I said rolling my eyes as the tears I was trying to hold in finally fell down my cheeks.
"Because." Was all she said using her thumb to wipe a tear away.
"What's the saying? When a woman stops arguing, she doesn't care anymore, she's done." Ms. Angie said.
"I'll care forever, but I'm definitely done."
•
"I might as well move in." I said since I'm always over Cierra and Mike's house.
"You can." Cierra said.
"Of course you'd say that." I said laughing.
"No, she can't." Mike said entering their dining room where we were sitting at the table.
"If you talk to Jigz tell him to call me." Chris their friend from the boxing gym said to me.
"He got his phone privileges taken away until further notice, but I can still let him know." I said picking up Mya who was whining rubbing her eyes.
"Oh damn aight."
"You good out here tho?" Chris asked me.
"Always." I said.
"Aight. Bye uglies." He said. "Not you lil mama." He said grabbing Mya's hand as she laid against my shoulder.
"Wait, you ain't tell me he can't use the phone anymore." Cierra said.
"Nope. That and he can't get visits. Only letters. I haven't been going to his past few visits because honestly it's no point. But I went last visit and we are actually being civil and another inmate stops and says, are you Ivy or are you Journii?"
"Oh hell." Cierra said knowing where this is going.
"I sensed the hostility so when Jigz went to stand up I stepped in front of him trying to distract him like Jigz, no, ignore it."
"Bitch he gently lifted me up and moved me out the way and next thing I know they're fighting, guards rushing over, and all visitors were getting kicked out."
"Then this ugly light skin little bitch who looked high as hell gonna say, bitch control your man. I said bitch shut the fuck up. I grabbed my stuff and left."
"She sleep?" I ask Cierra turning so Mya's face was towards her.
She nodded. "Yeah. So now he can't have no more visits?"
"Until further notice nope. And he better hope no extra time gets added on since he's only a few months away from getting out, but I doubt they will because overcrowding be real he said."
Chapter 29:
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