Ivy
******
First Ms. Monica, then my Journii, which also including losing Jayon, and now Slim.
I walked into the counselor's office crying so hard ready to give up on life completely, but she had had canceled all her appointments for the day and spent the whole day talking to me and I have been seeing her ever since.
I wanted to act like I was fine and I could deal, but I was at my breaking point. BEEN at my breaking point and knew if I didn't get some type of help I wasn't gonna make it for much longer.
•
Everyone literally showed up to Slim's funeral. Everyone. He was loved soooo much. How could you not love him?
I spent that day with Deandre we both cried together while he sent threats on when he finds out who did this to his brother. I don't believe it was personal, I'm assuming it was just the wrong place at the wrong time and I'm hoping they are caught before Deandre can do anything that will ruin his future.
A couple weeks later as I left my counselor's office I decided I would go stop by and see Deandre, and check on him.
"What's up?" He asked opening the door letting me in.
"Just checking on you." I said.
He shrugged, but didn't say anything as we both sat down on the couch.
"Couple more weeks of school." I said since his graduation is coming up.
"Yeah." He mumbled.
"Don't give up." I said.
"I'm not, Slim wouldn't want me to. I'ma finish strong, get this degree, and get the fuck up outta Chicago. Got enough money saved to get me and moms the fuck up outta here. Find me a legal good paying job."
"And work your way up until your owning your own shit." I said finishing his sentence with what he has been saying since he was 16.
That made him smile. "You fuckin know it."
"I'ma miss you, but go. Get the hell up outta here. There is more to life than the hood of Chicago."
We sat talking for awhile longer before I had go.
"Make sure you don't officially leave without saying bye to me first." I said as he opened the front door for me.
"I won't."
"See you later." I said giving him a hug bye and as we pulled apart his mouth ended up on mine.
I had starting kissing him back, but then pulled away.
"Don't do that, Deandre." I whisper. "We are both grieving right now and using each other as a clutch in that way won't do anything, but cause more hurt in the end."
"You're my friend." I said when he didn't say anything back.
"What if I don't wanna be just your friend anymore?" He asked.
"It's not the time, Deandre, and you know it."
He nods before kissing my forehead and I left.
•
I jumped awake from where I laid on the couch since it sounded like somebody was trying to get into the apartment door.
Then a knock came at the door.
I was frozen for a minute before I went to see who it was. I looked out the peephole to see that it was Jigz.
"Why the hell did you have the locks changed?" He asked when I opened the door.
