into her phenakistoscope

• m y u n c o m m i t t e d s i n •

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But still a part of me wants to sin .
Still a part of me wants you for a moment , not forever ,
but just for a moment .

I don't love you ,
but ...
I love that ' h e l l o ' you wave at me ,
every time we happen to pass
each other's ways .

I don't love you ,
but I love that smile of yours .
I can't help but love that
smile of yours .

I don't want to talk to you ,
but . .
I want to keep seeing you like that . . everyday .

I want you to wave a hello at me
every time I cross your path
and you cross mine .

We had our eyes locked to each others'
quite a few times ,
yes ,
our eyes did meet .
But , that day you weren't wearing that million dollar sparkling grin of yours ;
your smile . .
It was a nervous one . .
I noticed .
I noticed .

I don't love you .
No , neither do I want to .

I just . .
I just want to be that swift wind
coming from no where ,
all of a sudden ,
blowing your hair and startling you ,
with the sudden
short lasting pleasure .

I want to be that whirlwind
that will give
a sudden ripple of loud beat ,
inside your ribcage .

I want to pass you like an invisible
unnoticed fragrance
and before you can
even find out its source ,
I want to be gone .

I want to be that sound of bell ringing
all of a sudden and waking you up
from the monotony .

I want you to see me ,
but I want you to see me disappearing .

I want to be that light which you can never feel on your skin
warming you up .

I want to be the song that will
make you escape into a world
which doesn't exist ,
but before you completely realize the enchantment of it ,
the song will end ,
abruptly .

I want no spoken words between us .
I want silent whispers and
unpronounced words .

I want to be the faint but
ever existing scent in the air
around you .

I want an unwritten untold story .
I want a hidden secret .
I want to be the girl from nowhere
who'll just peep through the
window of your mind
but just to be gone the next moment
and never to stay there .

I want to come just to go away .
I want to appear just to disappear .

I want to be the melody
you will never get to listen
till the ending .

I want to be the book
you'll want to read so bad ,
and you'll have it too ,
in your palms one day ,
and when you'll be just a split second away from turning the pages
and from getting to unravel the mystery and read the words of
the first sentence there ,
the book will fade away ,
right in front of your eyes ,
the printed black ink will be dissolved
by the overwhelming white
of the unturned paper .

I want to be the riddle
you'll never get to solve .
I want to be the tale
you'll never get to read .

I want to be your unseen dream ,
your unwished wish .

I want to be that one moment
in your life
in which you'll
skip a heartbeat .

I want to be that enchanting view
right in front of your eyes ,
but yet so far away .

I want to be as swift as wind ,
as momentary as a sound and
as short as a dream ,
in your life .

You'll be my uncommitted sin .
I'll be your unfelt heartbeat .

I'm just being reckless .
I guess I'm just having
a little adventure ,
a short lasting fantasy .
I'm just secretly escaping from my home . .
to just live for a while
in an imagination
I swear I never intended
to even imagine .

I need to stick to the principles
I established ,
I must stick to the promises
I made to myself . .
and those unuttered promises
I made to him .
I promised myself that
I'll never lose my head again ,
I must not let the free fall
cloud my mind .
I must not fall for you . .

And ,
trust me ,
I didn't .
I didn't .

I can't love you .
I don't love you .

I'm already taken

and . .

well . .
you . .
you are my uncommitted sin
and shall always be one .

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[If this girl's words have
touched your soul ,
matter not how faint
the sensation felt ,
would you mind dears ?
if she wished for you to tap on that minuscule star beneath
and send kudos to her ,
please ?] :)