The Monster In Us

14- i'll try haRder

"Why the hell was the Berardi hacked?" I ask Sergei the next as we're having dinner about an hour outside of Vegas. "With one of my hacks?"

"It was your father's idea," Sergei responds calmly. "Coleman enacted the hack and we were hoping that you would get it."

"Yeah, well I got it. A heads up would be nice and an actual explanation maybe?"

"They feel threatened," He says. "With the hack, they fear that something more serious is coming now and they will want you to make their system more secure."

"So you think that they're going to let me into their system?" I wonder with raised eyebrows. I remember back when we discovered the hack, Dante had said that I will be working on Monday to strengthen their security so maybe my father's plan really did work.

"Are they?"

"I think so," I confirm. "I still would have appreciated a heads up instead of being completely blindsided by my own fucking hack."

"I'll pass that on with your father," Sergei assures me. "And I'll keep you updated with everything going on at the casino. What other updates do you have for me?"

"Nothing really," I assure him but Dante is already on my mind. I know that I should tell him about Dante but I also know how terribly that would go down, telling him that I've been going on dates with Dante Berardi. He would tell my father, my father would yell at me until his throat bled. It would be an entire mess and I believe that I'm so far undercover that my father won't be able to keep tabs on me, not even through Sergei, enough to know how involved I'm getting with Dante. "I've been digging slowly through their servers but it's slow. I think if they really do give me access to some of it, it'll go a lot faster but I'm not working on that until Monday."

"You don't have anything else to give me?" He wonders suspiciously. "Vera, you've been at this for a while now."

"No, I haven't," I argued. "This is a long term operation, isn't it? That's why we worked so goddam hard to get me in here. I told you that the firewalls would be intense, and they are. I'm working on it. If you want a day-by-day technical analysis on what I'm doing, I can put that together but you probably won't understand what any of it means."

He still doesn't look pleased but he seems to let it go pretty easily, which I appreciate. Even though I know that I won't crack if he keeps insisting that there should be more to report and I won't just tell him about Dante in a slip of the tongue or anything but things would just go by a lot smoother if Sergei drops it like he is, like the good soldier that I know him to be. "How is the apartment? Everything okay there?"

I nod in confirmation. "Yep."

"What are your plans on Saturday?" He asks me. "We might need you back at Renegade for the day."

"I'm busy," I say quickly. "Making friends at Berardi. Blending in is a lot of work. I'm free Sunday if you need me though. Did Coleman fuck anything up yet?"

"No but we need a high-level security scan on a few servers that only you can get done," Sergei explains. "We'll move it to next weekend, just don't make any plans with your krysas."

"Wouldn't dream of it," I respond easily.

"How much contact have you had with Berardi?" Sergei asks me and for a moment, I panic but I quickly take a deep breath of relief when I realize that he's referring to Giovanni and not his son.

"Not very much, he isn't in his office a lot," I explain. "But it's basically impossible to get into his office without being detected because of all of the security that he obviously has."

"When he is there though, you need to get him to let you in," He suggests and I know that he means that I should seduce Giovanni so that he will let me into his office. He is notorious for his weakness for young brunettes and I'm sure that if I tried, I could easily get invited into his office. The thought of sleeping with Giovanni or anything of that sort makes me want to vomit but it's not anything new to me. I've done it before with other men and every time, it makes me feel sick to my stomach but I swallow that feeling and I get it done.

Considering how close I'm getting to Dante, however, this time is a little different. I can't tell Sergei that though because I've already decided that I'm not going to tell him about Dante. So I just say, "Yeah, I'll try harder, I guess."

"You're doing well, Vera," Sergei assures me, which surprises me but I'll take the compliment. "Just remember that the faster you get into their system, the faster that you get to come home."

"Right," I nod and although I've known that, I'm just now starting to realize that he's right. But he says that assuming that I want to come home as fast as possible... and I know that I should want to be home and not at the Berardi casino in my tiny apartment. But when I go back home, Elisa dies and I really like having her around. No more colorful clothes, no more having time to myself in my apartment, no more working on just everyday problems like a normal person, no more Dante.

It's back to my office with my computer grid, hacking, creating fake people, breaking laws and shooting people, soaking my hands in more blood to feed the monster that I've been able to silence since I've been at Berardi. He will come alive again and I'm not so sure that I like that idea.

"Anything that you want to pass on to your father?" He asks me.

I shake my head in the negative. "No."

"Alright, well then that's it for now. You'll be back at home next weekend so we will touch base again then," Sergei says to wrap up our meeting. He waves over the waitress to pay for our meals and I grab my bag so that I can head out.

"Okay. I'll see you then," I say as a goodbye.

"We need to see progress," He adds as I'm standing from the table.

"Okay, I guess I do have a message for my father," I change my mind, standing now but I stay at the table. "You can tell him that I will work at whatever pace I want. He has basically sent me to my death and he still doesn't have the time to check up on me himself. I'm sorry that it's not convenient for him but you can tell him to go fuck himself, alright?"

Sergei opens his mouth to respond but I'm so beyond annoyed at both him and my father that I just walk away, to leave the restaurant because I'm tired of Sergei nagging me about my slow pace. As if he thought that this would be a breezy mission, in and out, as if they would have all of their trade secrets out in the open for me to grab and then be on my way. And I know that he's speaking for my father so it's not really Sergei's fault but it's still annoying, especially considering what they're all asking me to do here.

I will get their dirty work done and I will keep at the servers, giving them whatever progress that I can get but it's honestly not at the top of my mind right now. Because I'm only 48 hours away from my date with Dante and I have no idea what to wear.