South Park One Shots

Cartman's Diary ; Eric Cartman

"Kahl! Don't you fucking dare Kahl!" Cartman screamed as you walked to the bus stop. Everything seemed typical as Cartman screamed at everyone and Kenny stood silently, sometimes giggling.

"Hi Y/N," Kenny greeted you as you stood next to him.

"Hey Kenny," You told him, smiling.

"Oh, hey Y/N," Cartman fixed his hat and adjusted his jacket, walking closer to you.

"Hey," You smiled as you greeted the rest of the boys.

"Kenny, stop being an asshole!" Cartman whined as you turned to see Kenny, inching closer to you. You didn't get why Cartman was so mad, but you giggled anyway as Kenny put his hands up.

"You have her all to yourself," Kenny laughed.

"Hm?" You asked him, confused.

"Nothing!" Cartman screamed over the rest of the boy's explanations. "Nothing at all."

"Cartman likes-" Kyle giggled.

"Food! I like food," Cartman slapped him. "Fuckin' Jew."

The bus rolled up to this already unforgettable day. You sighed, smiling, because maybe, just maybe, Kyle was talking about you.

You rolled your eyes, sitting next to Kenny. That sounded so weird, no one likes Cartman. Although that Heidi girl was talking about him to you the other day, but you ignored it, hoping she'd forget about him.

You talked with Kenny the whole time, talking about whatever is on our minds today. Eventually, you were sitting in your seats in Mr Garrison's class. Time flies when you're talking to Kenny.

And Kenny's trustworthy. He hasn't told anyone about your secret about liking Cartman, and you haven't told anyone about his secret of him secretly going to a nightclub. You told him your secret was weirder, but you couldn't deny yours was weird too.

Another few hours passed by, and all you could think about was today's morning. And how odd it all seemed. Thankfully, this passed time. And when the bell rang, you all sprinted out of the classroom to your lockers.

"Y/N!" You heard a familiar voice, then spun around.

"Oh, hey Jimmy!" You smiled as you put away your things in your locker,

"Have you seen Cartman?" He asked you, crutching to you.

"Uh, no?" You meant to state, but it sounded like a question. "Why?"

"W-We think he went home because he's sick," He told you. "But I suppose w-we shouldn't rush into any," He stuttered. "Anything."

"Oh," You sighed, grabbing your lunch. "I guess not. But class only ended a few minutes ago!"

"Token told us that Cartman said it was ur-urgent," He said.

"Oh," You tried to hide the sorrow in your voice as you walked with Jimmy. "Aw."

"Gotta go," Jimmy ran off in the opposite direction. Weird. He's been like this since the talent show.

You slowly walked to lunch, knowing that you wouldn't be able to talk to Cartman for the rest of the school day.

"Hey guys," You sighed, walking up to your table with Wendy and some other girls.

"You've got to be joking!" Wendy bubbled. "You were sitting with the boys yesterday! Cough, cough, slut! Cough, cough."

"Hey, if anyone's a slut it's you," You told her honestly.

"Oh my God! You are such a two timing bitch!" Wendy turned to you. "We're over you, go sit with your boy toys over there."