South Park One Shots

Girls Rule (for the most part) ; Kenny McCormick ; Part 1/3

Almost tripping down the cement steps connecting my house with the sidewalk I scurried to a familiar house near by. After opening his door with no permission I ran down the stairs connecting to his basement.

Then, I saw the unfamiliar group at school I wish I saw everyday and Cartman in front of them, beginning another argument.

They all turned to me after I ran down the stairs with weird looks.

"Hey, Lia!" Butters waved. I hesitantly waved back, afraid by all the odd looks I received.

"Why are you so scared?" Butters asked as I stared at the group of boys. Stan, Kenny, Tweek, Craig, Token... And Kyle! The list continued.

"I'm... I'm not," I shrugged. But in reality, I was terrified. This was the group I wish I hung out with all the time.

"Who invited a girl?" Stan asked into the silence as they all continued staring at me.

A group of "I don't know"s and "not me"s spread around.

"I did," Cartman turned to the group of boys. "Now, we have a plan to-"

"God, what scheme will you make us do now?" Kyle rolled his eyes.

"Hey, I didn't even want to invite you here, Jew! It was Lia's idea!" Cartman spat. He turned to me, and all I could do is nod.

"Anyway," Cartman rolled his eyes. "Lia has noticed something around our school. One, Token is the only black guy. Two, the girls have a pretty bad idea of the boys."

"Which one is relevant?" Token asked after a moment of silence.

"Right now, the second one. But, her being a girl has put the boys to an advantage. She has agreed to ally us as long as," Cartman scratched his head. "What was it?"

"Uh," I began. "I don't think I ever asked for something in return-"

"Then you can have Kyle, if you want," He shrugged. Cartman was the only one knowing I liked him, so I immediately felt my face heat up.

"I can't just date her!" Kyle stood from his plastic chair.

"Why not, exactly?" Cartman rolled his eyes.

"Because... You know," He trailed off.

"You know, what?" Cartman asked, eyes eager for explanation.

Before Kyle could continue, Kenny stood up.

"Why do the girls have a bad idea of the boys?" He spat out.

"Oh," I was taken by surprise. "Actually, it's because of you."

"What did I do?" Kenny eyes were wide.

"They think because you were a girl when you were playing The Stick of Truth-"

"It's not "playing", Lia, it was an actual conflict between my group and the elves group. Even though the elves group sucked."

"Hey! Just because it's my group doesn't mean it sucked!" Kyle jumped.

"Stan was on that team, too! Don't beat yourself down for it, he made it suck too," Cartman nodded and patted Kyle's back.

"Anyway," I giggled at my best friend's comeback. "They thought it was offensive, and now they see you, Kenny, as a threat. No one wants to date you now."

"No one?" Kenny asked.

"No one," I shrugged. Kyle gave him a sympathetic look.