Give Me Therapy

Chapter 14: The Relapse

Chapter 14

Alex's Perspective

I woke up to the overwhelming smell of alcohol in the tour bus. My god it smells like a washed up bar in here, the guys must have got wasted.

I struggled to pull myself up and out of bed, but the thought of Raegyn motivated me. There is no way in hell im going to miss this date!

Once I was out of my bed I did some arm stretches and made my way into the kitchen. It's a little embarrassing to admit but I have to say, I'm a pretty good chef. I started cooking the guys some breakfast of sausage, eggs an bacon and before I knew it, the disgusting smell of musty alcohol was replaced with the savory smell of breakfast. I sat down at the kitchen table with a full plate and a glass of orange juice.

I heard some groaning coming from the guys still in their beds, they must be hungry I snickered to myself. Once I had finished my breakfast, it was about time the guys made their way in here for some food.

"How did you all sleep" I asked, then started to clean up my side of the table. "I don't even remember falling asleep" Jack said with a little giggle. Once the guys had settled down at the kitchen table I brought then each some aspirin for their hangovers.

"Thanks Mom" they mocked together and I shot them a smirk. "I'll be out for a bit today" I stated. They all looked at me with suspicious eyebrows. "And where are you going today Mr. Mom? The knitting club?" Zach asked, followed by some giggles from the guys. "Very funny" I said. "But, I have a date today" I said. The guys all cheered.

"You think she could be the one?" Rian asked. "I don't know. She's the first that's caught my eye since my brother. It's weird to have these feelings again" I thought out loud. "Good for you Alex" Rian said and smiled. "What's her name?" Jack asked cautiously.

"Raegyn" I said and smiled. "I have to go now, I'm going to run some errands before the date. Later guys" I called out. In a hurry, I grabbed a jacket and my phone and jogged out the door.

Raegyn's Perspective

The morning sun greeted me directly in my eyes with it's burning rays. I rolled over and smushed my face deeper into the pillows, seeking a shield to hide behind for the rest of my life.

I'm sure any other girl would have been fine with a famous guy that's just looking to hook up, but that "any other girl" was never raped by her dad. Suddenly the memory that has haunted me since childhood came creeping back into my brain.

~Flashback~

"Hi sweetie, how was school" I heard dad slur from the couch. "Daddy!" I ran up to him with excitement when a surly smell hit me in the face like a brick.

"Daddy?" I asked, plugging my nose. He pulled me up onto his lap and put a silver box that was at his mouth down. "My little girl is getting so big" he whispered to me and stared at my breasts that had just started developing.

I followed his eyes down to my chest and I remembered how he does this to mommy a lot. In a sudden panic, I realized what would happen next. I turned around to jump and run away, but before I had the chance to escape, his large arms grabbed me.

He grabbed me, undressed me, and laid me down on my back on the floor. He used his feet to restrain me while he undressed. My cries were for nobody to here. All I could do was stay there helpless, as my father took my innocence, dignity and sense of safety in my own house forever.

~End of Flashback~

That night was the night that everything would change forever. I know that I should feel safe but I never will. I feel scared of men, alcohol and my own house occasionally. Every time I step through my front door as I did that day, the image of my father sitting there with his flask reminds me of how worthless and unlovable I am. Even though he is in jail, I'm afraid he will escape somehow and come after me.

I thought my hero would be different. But of course not, now I'm stupid too I guess! But my grades already knew that! I'm so tired of feeling so much pain but feeling so numb at the same time. It never ends.

I've been 5 days clean which is a new record for me. I was proud of myself. My conscience was telling me to stay strong and my depression was telling me to give up. I don't know what to do anymore, so I listened.

I made my way to the bathroom and under my cabinet I grabbed my favorite blade. I closed the door quietly behind me, so I don't wake up my mom. I locked the door and fell down to my knees. I pulled up the sleeve of my pajama shirt and dug the razor deep into my wrist. Once. Twice. Three times, four. I sat down and watched the blood drip from my arm to the floor.

When it was over I was forced to face the fact that I had relapsed.

*Author's Note*

I wrote this at school during my study hall before my math midterm. I hope you all enjoyed! Don't forget to vote for this chapter if you would like another update!

~M