H&S: Story Of Dorothy Oneshots

'Deleted Scenes, Bloopers, N Shit'

“Sue, do you think I'm pretty?” Dorothy blurted, swiveling to the side so she could peer at his face and see his reaction.

Sue snorted, turning a page in his book. “Hell no.”

“Cut!”

                                               ~***~

“...Why?” Sue whispered, staring at his ‘friend’ sorrowfully.

Dorothy put her hands on her hips. “Why what? Why are you such an asshole?”

“That's not your line.”

She shrugged. “Yeah, but I feel like my character would say something like that.”

                                             ~***~

“You made it this far?” Sue asked, standing two or three feet away.

Dorothy rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. “Oh, of course not. I just teleported down here as soon as I woke up. Dumbass.”

“Redheaded bitch.”

“Cut! Five minute break, you two. Get it together.”

                                             ~***~

“Dorothy, I have one last gift to give you tonight.” Sue smiled, wrapping an arm around her lower back and pulling them together.

“Wha- what would that be?” Dorothy faltered.

He leaned in and whispered in her ear, “Seeex.”

“You're both playing twelve year olds, you know!”

                                            ~***~

“Ai said you wished to see me?” Priscilla broke the silence with her angelic, deep voice.

Sue stopped walking in a steady line to and fro, facing her. “Yeah, you and those gigantic tits.”  

“WE DO NOT TOLERATE SEXUAL HARA-”  

“I was kidding, I was kidding!”

                                             ~***~

"Dorothy, I wonder... " He whispered as he looked underneath the bed. "Where- OW! SON OF A FUCK!” He clutched the part of his forehead that he bumped against the frame when crawling out. He glared in the direction of the wardrobe as hysterical laughter drifted out of it.

“This is the fifteenth time you’ve hit yourself on the bed. You do understand you have pounds of makeup covering the bruises on your face, right?”

                                             ~***~

"You're the same as always, Sue." A soft, all-too-familiar velvety voice greeted him.

“You're as sexy as always, Priscilla.”

“Again, you're playing a little boy. Let's try this again.”

                                           ~***~

"Oh, well that's too bad then." Sue said, his high spirits trampling over his disappointment, keeping silent and still as a deep voice spoke offscreen.

“He had looked forward to telling the princess the storothy of Dorothy, the- wait, SHIT! Let me try one more time, I swear to god I'll get it right. Tenth time's the charm, right?”

“I’m starting to think hiring a narrator was a bad idea.”

                                          ~***~

“Um, no, I just… Nevermind!” Dorothy stammered weakly for a moment before seizing a random book from the stack next to her, then proceeded to pretend-read it while it was upside down. However, her terribly-faked nonchalance was no comfort, because she'd picked up the very thing that started this mess. A book with a crimson cover that was entitled Forbidden Fruits in glittering gold, cursive lettering.

Dorothy's mother, Maria, unexpectedly burst into the room, fuming. “DOROTHY, WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT TRIFLING WITH MY STEAMY EROTICA STASH? STAY AWAY FROM MOMMY'S PORN.”

“You’re not even in any of these scenes!”

“The black-haired boy paid me to do it.” The woman promptly left the stage. Sue smiled sheepishly as all eyes turned to him.

                                             ~***~

"I had fun this time." Sue sighed, lips still slightly curved upwards into a smile.

Priscilla smirked. “Did you score?”

“Hell yeah I scored!” Sue grinned and high-fived her.

“You don't know how close I am to just firing everyone.”

                                            ~***~

“Naming a fish after your dead mom?” Jae sneered, the second eldest girl with shoulder-length black hair and brown eyes. “Are you brain damaged?”

Ari flipped her the bird. “Hey, at least I don't look like the Grudge.”

“YOU’RE THE ONE WITH HAIR COVERING YOUR EYES!”

“Why can't anyone ever stick to the script?”

                                          ~***~

“That never happened. The entire party was perfect.” Ari was struggling to maintain her composure, growing furious at the false memories being shown to her as she glared at the freeze frame of her fainted, child form. “I ate cake with mom, and me, Kim, Jae, and Eun played Hide and Seek afterward. I did not...stab her, no one was ever mean to me, and my mother. Never. DIED.” As soon as she snappishly said that last word, a girlish giggle sliced through the thick silence of the aquarium’s darkened theater, as if the ghostly apparition that disguised itself as a seven-year-old her found amusement in what the thirteen-year-old was saying.

Ari, even more enraged, stood abruptly before marching into the long aisle that split both rows of chairs apart and making a beeline for the exit. But, it was locked, and no matter how many times she desperately tried to open the door to escape, it wouldn't budge. She searched under the red seats for a key, hoping one would be hidden for her somewhere, but no such luck.

Ai appeared behind her, her undeniably cute voice cutting through her thoughts. “You're so retarded!”

“Let's not use that word as an insult. Cut, for the millionth time.”

A/N: ...So yeah, it's...been a while since I last updated, and I found this chapter in one of my documents, collecting virtual dust. So I said, 'why the hell not?' And it's posted.  I haven't been adding much more oneshots because my seasonal inspiration for contributing to the H&S fanbase with my fanfics has worn off, but trust me, at some point it'll return. It always comes crawling back. To be honest, I think this is a smidge cringey but I'm like that with a lot of my work, plus I'm not a great comedian.

     I think the idea of this was to make an AU where H&S is actually a movie produced in Tabomsoft's anime world, and all the characters are actors, some of which who are really immature and like to dick around instead of doing their jobs properly.  Dorothy and Sue's actors probably have some sort of rivalry. Very sorry if you wanted a serious updated, you've no idea.