before | jungkook

1.2

"woah he has guts," haneul commented as she placed the milk teas in front of me.

"you saw it?"

she nodded and explained that they were so loud and jungkook's voice was too recognisable to not look over and see what was going on.

i decided to just let what we witnessed, alone and continue the day as if it were normal. it was pretty easy to just forget what i saw and pretend he never existed in the first place. i almost forgot we used to be a couple, that's how easy it was.

oh btch you thought.

i almost bashed into the tree while my mind wandered off into deep thoughts again. haneul kept scolding me and telling me to stop thinking about it.. but how can i? this isn't exactly the perfect situation if the summary is, i used to have a horrible life, someone came in and made it amazing, broke up and blamed me then starts claiming i'm his girlfriend. like the logic in that is just.. non-existent.

i told haneul to go back to the dorms first because i had something to do. but in reality.. i just wanted some time alone. i walked along the pathway in the park and in the distance i saw a bridge.

immediately without a thought, i brought myself to that bridge and saw many locks. one lock in particular caught my eye because a familiar boy just finished putting it in place. i walked over to the lock and read the words written on each side.

i'm sorry i couldn't have been there.

i furrowed my eyebrows together and flipped the lock around.

i'll make up for it and make you love me again.

after reading that, my heart would usually flutter and i would all of a sudden forgive him. but i'm so done with this. he can't just play me like that. i'm not someone who you can just throw away whenever you want then make me come back because you're 'sorry.' i huffed an annoyed sigh and started to walk away from the bridge.

stupid jungkook.

stupid timing.

stupid lock.

stupid life.

i walked to the closet convenience store and bought myself a lighter. if i was completely honest, i wasn't actually depressed at the moment. i was more mad and i just wanted a stress reliever that was better than a stress ball.

bringing myself to an alleyway, i hid myself in the corner and started burning near my elbow.

i'm a psychopath for doing this. but what can i do about that? it helps me relieve stress and that's the only thing i really want and need right now.