I Am Human (bxb)

Mothers

"Jasper? Would you like some tea, honey?" Aunt Tracy said gently as she poked her head into my room.

"Yeah." I moped as I rolled over in my bed. All the lights were off and I was hiding under my covers. Last night She came home from work to see me sitting curled up in a ball on the floor of the shower. She knew something with me and Kai went wrong and clued in that I wasn't going to clarify anything, so like any loving parent would do, she treated my broken heart with lots of cookies and tea. 

"Alright, I'll bring some in..." She hesitated a moment, like she was contemplating saying something but though better of it, smiled and closed the door.

A few minutes later she came back with some tea and a bowl of chips. I smiled sadly in thanks as she handed them to me. But instead of walking out, she sat down on the edge of my bed.

"Jasper... I know the timing is horrible, but I need to talk to you about something." A lump formed in my stomach at her words and she carried on. "I got a call yesterday evening... It was you're mum." Surprise flashed though my head and my eyes bulged at that. I hadn't heard anything from my birth mother since I was two and she came to my birthday celebration drunk and had to be escorted out. The shocking news momentarily took hold of my attention and I looked up at Aunt Tracy.

"My mum? I asked her confused if she was really saying what I thought she was saying. She nodded.

"Yeah, she... she said that she wanted to meet with you. She told me that she was sober, and has been for a few months and wanted to have dinner or something with you." Aunt Tracy's face looked unsure, and I could sense a certain nervousness.

"I... I don't even know what to say..." I said truthfully, "What would I say to her? What would I talk about?"

"Well, it would have to be a monitored visit," She started, "I'd be there with you both, at all times so you don't have to worry. And I'm sure she would want to listen anything you have to say...It's... It's going to be weird, I haven't seen, or spoke to her in years either Jasper, It's shocking for me too." She took a deep breath and placed a hand on my knee, "Would you be okay with dinner? She said she would call back tonight... so I needed to ask you, I'm sorry, I know It's a lot going on right now." She looked at my sympathetically and I nodded. I wasn't so sure about seeing my mother, but what could one dinner do?

"Okay." I said, "But just one dinner okay?" Aunt Tracy agreed and got up to leave.

"She said she's so excited to meet you Jasper. I'm sure it will be okay." She smiled and closed the door on her way out and left me in the dark to think of a mother that had left me as well as my boyfriend who had gone and done the same thing.

I spent the rest of the day on the couch watching sappy romance movies and stuffing my face with cookies. And was mostly left alone to wallow in self pity, until about 4:30 when Aunt Tracy walked in on the scene where Jack draws Rose like one of his french girls in The Titanic. I paused the movie right at the wrong part and awkwardly waited for Aunt Tracy to speak. She glanced at the screen with rolled eyes and sat down next to me on the couch. 

"Hey kid." She started. That was never a good sign when she started a conversation with hey kid. 

"Did you talk to her?' I asked, looking into my aunts pained eyes.

"Yeah, I just got off the phone with her. She really wants to meet you." Her face contorted into a sort of pitied smile. "She asked to come see you tonight." Tonight?! That was early, It barely gave me any time at all to prepare myself. How was I supposed to act in front of this woman that was supposed to have been my mother?! I mean, I came from her, I have a part of her in me. Do I look like her? What if she hates me? What if I hate her?

"What did you say?" I said nervously. Aunt Tracy smiled a little and nodded a yes.

"I said we'd meet her at the White Spot downtown." I gulped at her words.

"When are we leaving?" 

"In about an hour. You okay? You can back out any time, okay? I know a lot is going on right now for you, I... I just thought that if this turns out well, then it would be a nice distraction..." Her motherly compassion warmed me and I wrapped my arms around her in a large embrace. 

"Thank you." I whispered quietly, not even sure if she had heard.

"For what?" She surprised me with an answer.

"For being my mom."