I Am Human (bxb)

Caught In The Ice

That night I dreamed that I was encased in ice. My fingers, toes, arms and legs were all held in place; stiff in the clutches of the ice. As I stayed there frozen, all I could do was think. So I thought and thought and thought, of Kai. Kai playing soccer, Kai smiling, Kai holding my hand, Kai asking me to be his boyfriend, Kai worried when I fractured my arm, Kai's anger when he thought of me being picked on. And Kai's last text. The text that had created this world of frigid ice. I felt trapped, like without him, I was stuck in a cold glacier a million miles away. 

"Jasper! You're late!" My eyes snapped open at the sound of Aunt Tracy's screech call out from behind my bedroom door. My body was drenched in a cold sweat and I was shivering. I scanned my room, eventually finding the clock which read 8:00.

"Shit..." I groaned as I rolled out of my bed and hopped over to the bathroom. In the shower my body warmed up quickly, but my mind was still thinking about the world of ice and how I felt as I lay pinned down under all that pressure. Ice, as I learned, was surprisingly heavy.

I got out the shower and grabbed the first clothes I could find, pulled them on and ran back to the bathroom to blow dry and straighten my raven black hair. After that I ran out into the living room and noticed that Aunt Tracy had left a note on the kitchen table.

Go talk to him!

I smiled down at the note and before I ran out of the apartment, I grabbed it along with a banana for the walk.

My mind was racing a hundred miles a minute as I walked towards the school. Would Kai be there? Would he act like everything was normal. or would everything be different? Would he ignore me, would he want to talk? I couldn't stop these dangerous questions from forming and as I thought, I lost track of time. Soon I was on the school steps and pushing open the large main doors. I walked past the office secretary as she looked at me with a face that read, "Damn kids never follow the rules." I internally laughed and continued walking towards my science class.

During class the meat-head jocks kept poking my back and whispering "Fag" Every five minutes. My irritation was growing by the seconds and soon the large pit that had formed in my stomach last night burst and I felt like I was going to be sick. Bile rose to my throat and I raised my hand up.

"Yes Mr.Sparks?"

"Washroom?" I blurted out with a wobble in my voice, the teacher nodded sensing something was off and I bolted out of the classroom with my backpack slung across my shoulder. 

Once I was out of the science room I sprinted down the halls to the nearest washroom. The stall door swung out behind be as I bent over and threw up into the toilet bowl. I was heaving all the liquids out of my body and my small frame was shaking. As I sat there trembling from the effort, kneeling on the floor and face bent over the toilet, I heard a soft voice behind me.

"Jasper?" My face got paler as I realized who it was. I didn't want him here. I didn't want him to see me like this. "What can I do?" Kai's concerned voice sounded, he was closer now, crouched behind me. He placed a hand on my back and began rubbing it, trying to calm me down. But his touch only reminded me of what started this in the first place and soon I began to gag again and more of my breakfast spewed into the toilet bowl. My stomach felt like knives as I retched again and again, soon noting was coming out and I my stomach seemed to be contracting just for the fun of it. "Jasper, It's okay, It'll pass." Kai's soft voice spoke close to my ear. He was still rubbing my back, trying to be helpful. After a few more seconds of heaving up air, It stopped and Kai helped me stand up; my weak body was still shaking and completely exhausted.

"Thanks." I said with a trembling whisper as I leaned against the washroom wall facing Kai as he flushed the toilet for me. He turned around and walked over to the sink, grabbed a handful of paper towels and splashed some water on them. He walked over to me and with one hand he reached out to hold my face and the other wiped away the mess that had splashed up onto me. I was a pathetic disaster, and in my time of need he seemed to always come to my rescue. But after the pain of last night I couldn't understand why he was here helping me. Why wasn't he saying anything? Did he not think anything of it? Or was he waiting until I recovered to speak? I looked up at him with a lost-puppy kind of expression as he finished wiping my face. A shiver ran up my spine and I opened my mouth to speak.

"Are you okay?" I asked him after I caught my breath. He scoffed at me and looked into my eyes.

"You were just on the floor spewing your guts out and you ask me if i'm okay?" His tone was disbelieving and had an edge of irritation which made my stomach feel slightly sick again.

"Yes." I whispered into the rancid air of the boys washroom.

"Compared to you I'm dandy." He said coldly. He dropped both hands from my face and walked over to the sink to wash them. "You should wash up." He told me from the sink. A pang in my chest formed and my get clenched at the cold tone he was using. He never spoke to me like this.

"Kai, what's wrong?" I asked him again as I walked towards him. He refused to look at me, instead he kept his eyes firmly on his hands as they rubbed together with soap.

"Let's not talk now, I have to get to class." He turned to dry his hands.

"No, let's talk now. You're making me worried, okay?" I said in a sturdy voice, loud enough to grab his attention. His eyes widened with surprise as he sighed.

"Fine, if you insist. You're so stubborn." He looked up into my eyes and I saw the cold glacier that had trapped me in my sleep; a sheet of ice. "I want to break up."