messages | taehyung (completed!!)

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I'm wearing the same clothes again. The same clothes that I wore when he first saw me. My favorite shirt with his face on it. I smiled while waiting for the concert to start.

The memories, heartbreaks, and words that we shared together, it's in the past now. I don't care if I looked stupid, if I'm not doing the right thing. That I should just let him go and forget everything that happened. Because not every sad ending of a story deserve to be forgotten. It should be kept. The most important thing to accept.

The concert already started. I closed my both eyes and feel his voice. I'm not seeing his face but I can think of his smiles, his laugh, the way he talks, and his whole goddamn face inside of my head.

I can only see you
I can only see you alone
Look, I'm fair with everyone else but you
Now I can't live a day without you, please

Hold me tight, hug me
Can you trust me, can you trust me
can you trust me
Pull me in tight
Hold me tight, hug me
Can you trust me, can you trust me
Please, please, please pull me in and hug me

I watched him sing and all I can see is the passion in his eyes while singing his own song. Taehyung wrote the chorus of this song entitled 'Hold Me Tight'. Where all I could think of is us. The lyrics, tell me if I'm hallucinating but I'm thinking it's for me.

I know that he still can't see me because they're far from me. But damn, Kim Taehyung. You're far from me but this fcking heart can't calm down already. It's been a long time. A long long time since the last time I saw you after that 24 hours we spent together. You left me dumbfounded, still expecting even though you told me that I should forget you already. I'm an idiot. I know that. But loving someone isn't a crime, I'm a human, I love.

You met my eyes. You saw me and I saw how you react when you walked passed me. I still have a reason to smile so I did. You didn't saw it but still, I want to smile.

I wanna talk to you. I want to tell you that you shouldn't feel sorry for leaving me. I didn't had the chance to tell you that I'm not mad because you chose your fans over me. I'm happy, Taehyung. Did you forget that I'm also one of your fans? Taehyung, I will never be mad because of it. Your fans is the one who gave you this dream. They're the one who made it possible. Why would I be mad of those people who makes my man happy?

I took my phone from my pouch and started taking pictures and videos of you. I checked some of it and saw that you're looking at my phone's camera. You're smiling, Taehyung. You're smiling at me. That made me look at you again. You're still looking at me.

"Taehyung-ah," I whispered to myself. The fans are all loud but he managed to shout through his mic.

"Ya!!" He said while looking at me and ran away back to his members.

A tear fell from my eyes, "I love you," I said while watching him having fun on stage.

I know that he loves me. He really do. I can feel it through his actions. But being in front of his fans and performing on stage, you can see how serious he is about his career. And I'm not going to make him leave them for me. I'm just nothing. Well, we can say that I can make him happy too, he told me that. But his happiness when he's on stage is different. It's uncontrolled, it comes naturally. That's because it's his dream. He waited for this so long. And I won't do something to be the reason for him to let his dreams go just for myself to be happy.

Everyone around me is cheering for them when they started to sing another song.

Only the intro of the song, I felt my tears once again. Me, sobbing in front of so many people. Some are already looking at me. But damn, they're singing 'Just One Day'.

Your voice when you say my name
I wanna be locked in you and swim in you, I want to know you more
An explorer venturing through your deep forest of mystery
I appreciate the masterpiece that is you because your existence alone is art
I imagine this all night every day because it's a meaningless dream anyway

Just one day, if I can be with you
Just one day, if I can hold your hands
Just one day, if I can be with you
Just one day (just one day)

If only we can be together
(Do It Do It Do It)
I hope I can be with you for just one day
(Do It Do It Do It)

The memories that just happened to us. The kiss. That fcking last and first kiss that I had with him. I didn't expected that to come that early morning. When the clock hit 12, he kissed me. That feeling when his lips touched mine. I want that to happen again. Can we do that, Taehyung?

I stared at him, checking if he's looking at me too when they're singing the song. And I'm not blind to not see his eyes staring deeply to my soul. He's not happy. I can see that he's serious but he's not happy. The eyes that I'm looking at right now, it's emotionless.

I gave him a 'fighting' sign. He just nodded at me and smiled. I gave him my biggest smile of all and secretly wiped my tears.

I'm not sure if I'm going to see him again after this. We all know how hard it is to meet him because he's an idol. And the fact that Taehyung is a part of my life already. And just imagining him not being a part of it anymore is one of the things that I can't face in the future. But I have to be strong right? This is for the better. For me, to not be bashed because of his fans. And for him, to not lose his dream. Yes, Joy. This is for the better.