are you okay? - lauren/you

Why?

{warning//self harm}

The next morning, Y/N got up slowly, before remembering the events of last night. She was so happy, after what Lauren had said, and what she had done.

Selena was sitting at the breakfast table when Y/N walked downstairs in her oversized white t shirt and her underwear.
"How was it! Tell me everything! Second date? Where did you go? Did it go well?"
"Calm down Sel! But oh my god she's so perfect! She took me to this beachside restaurant and we had such a lovely time. I'm so happy! That was, until Kerry turned up."

Selena dropped her spoon. "What? Kerry? As in cheating and leaving Kerry?"
"Yes her, thanks for the reminder!"
"Oh my god! What happened?"
Y/N laughed slightly and Selena's shock and distaste, before telling her the rest of what happened. Selena hadn't finished being shocked even when Y/N left for work.

Lauren:
Hey. Do you want to do something after you finish work? I leave in a week.

You:
Of course, I would love to. One week?! That's so soon!

Lauren:
I know babe, I know.

You:
Pick me up when my shift ends?

Lauren:
of course, beautiful ;).

Y/N blushed at the compliment, and set her phone aside as she was still technically working. Business was slow today, so Y/N and Katelyn were hanging around the kitchen whilst Y/N was informed about Katelyn's date. As any good friend would, Y/N listened to the end, even if their date did sound boring and nothing as exciting at her and Lauren's.

Soon enough, Y/N's shift ended and Lauren was waiting outside for her as she locked up.  Lauren took Y/N's hand, knowing that this part of London was very secretive. The two were silent for a while until Y/N said, "I can't believe you're leaving in a week."
Lauren stopped and pulled Y/N into an alleyway and kissed her passionately, hers and Y/N's tears soon mixed up.
"I know, I'm sorry."
"Lauren, I was going to take you on a date before you left but, I want to ask you now. Will you be my girlfriend? It's okay if you say no, we've only had one date, but I feel we have some-"
"Of course I will. Y/N Y/L/N"

Lauren and Y/N walked aimlessly round London for an hour, before Lauren had to be back at her hotel room. They departed at the door, and made plans for their second date. Selena was out when Y/N got back, which gave Y/N time to completely break down and let her feelings out. First Kerry. Then Lauren. Why? How could they all come along at once?
Y/N was broken out of her thinking by a ding on her computer. It was her emails. She got up from the floor and slumped down on the sofa. Her computer was already turned on and opened on her emails.

"Hey baby, missed me? ;)"
The email was from Kerry. Those words were what Kerry used to say to Y/N when they hadn't seen each other in a while, and it brought up bad memories for Y/N. Bad, bad memories.
Y/N threw her computer onto the floor, not caring that it cracked the screen.

She ran to the bathroom and locked herself in there. Her breathing became shallow and scarce and she couldn't see very well. Her head hurt like crazy. All she could see was her hands and what she was doing. The razor sat in the bath, where Y/N normally shaves. She broke it apart with her bare hands and ended up with two razor pieces. The old feeling came back and once she had started, she couldn't stop. Tears flooded her vision, and she couldn't sense any feeling in her arm. Blood was trickling onto the bath mat as she heard a pounding on the door.

"Y/N!! You in there? I've been calling you loads!! What's up?"
The worried voice of Selena echoed through their door. Y/N didn't answer, and hoped that she would go away. She was still sobbing into her knees, but silently. Soon enough, she could hear footsteps disappearing down the hall.

Ten minutes later, footsteps were back. Tears still ran down Y/N's face as blood still ran down her arm. This time, it was Lauren's voice that spoke to her.
"Hey Y/N, it's me. Please come out baby, it's just me. I want to talk to you, to know you, to take care of you. All your demons and your best memories. Please, open the door."

Y/N reached up and opened the door, and just sat next to Lauren and hugged her. They didn't say anything for a while, but all could be heard was Y/N's sobs. Selena had told Lauren why Y/N was crying once she had found her broken computer and the email still loaded. Lauren couldn't do much but cry with her, so that's what she did. The fact that Y/N had done this to herself and she couldn't stop it made her heart hurt more than anything, and she felt guilty.

"Why baby, why?"
Lauren asked, stroking Y/N's hair gently.