Log Of A Dead Star

3. Confession #2

OK yay another one this ones about my first panic attack and how I got one of my worst fears.

I was talking to my friend that night. It was Valentines Day and I had just gotten some candy from mom not that long ago. I felt really depressed and I was talking to my friend about it. I was telling him that everyone was going to leave me, and I named off each one of my friends and how they would leave me. How I would at the end of it all, I'd be alone. The next thing I know, I'm crying nonstop, shaking, barely able to breathe, and biting my thumb. He was trying to reassure me that something like that won't happen. But I couldn't stop, I was getting worse. I texted him saying "I think I'm having a panic attack." He was very supportive and trying to help me. I remember eating all the candy I had just got. I was trying to calm down, but I couldn't. I got up to go to the restroom. I looked in the mirror to see the mess I was. I looked terrible. I grabbed a towel from the fact and held it in my mouth. Still trying to calm down, I texted my mom about the situation. She was in the house luckily, so she came in the bathroom. She took the towel from me and led me back to my room. She asked what started it and I showed her the messages. I don't know what she thought, but she said "is it because it's almost Shauni's anniversary?" I shook my head no. She stayed with me until I calmed down and put me in bed. I remember laying down on all the wrappers of candy I ate. She said goodnight and that I better go to sleep, which I did. Ever since, I've never talked about people leaving. And I don't plan on having another conversation like that ever again. In the morning, I thanked my friend for being there to help me.