A Life Of Contemplation(Magcon and o2l)

Chapter 19

Recap
I shook my head before grabbing Blue's hand and going outside to the car....

Present

Yasmine POV

When we got in the car I  turned to blue. I'm sorry about everything that came your way do not listen to those dumb dicks because they don't know anything, I said. It's okay, he said looking. No it's not before I left the organization we were the best of friends and now you come back and I barely talk to you and you barely talk to me and just.. Ughh everything is just going so bad, I said putting my head on the window. No it's not Yasmine, blue said. Blue you know it and I know it so stop sugarcoating this situation, I said.

Okay yes I admit it my stay here haven't been as great as I thought it was and I feel I don't belong and unwanted so what I'm tryna basically say is I'm moving to London , Blue says looking at me. I stare at him blankly. WHAT YOU CAN'T PLEASE BLUE THINGS ARE GONNA GET BETTER, I scream crying. No ,Yasmine it's not just that it's also because I'm joining another organization and its in London and Rocco is too, Blue said. And he doesn't feel bad that much because he feels he doesn't belong either, he added with a few tears in his eyes. I jumped out of my seat and hugged him to death and said, Ill miss you my little blue eyed bunny. He stifled out a laugh. So Rocco is leaving to, I ask. Yup, said blue. I jumped out of his arms and ran out of the car. I ran in the house to see The guys and girl on the couch including Rocco. I ran to him and jumped in his arms making him drop his phone. I cried into his shoulders. I'm guessing you heard, He asks. I nodded and cried harder. You do belong Rocco I don't care if they don't want you guys here I do, I cried. Im sorry to say this but we leave tomorrow, he cried.  blue came and hugged us to. It's okay, whispered blue. I finished crying and looked up the guys looked confused. I just started watching TV and fell asleep.
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I woke up and went to the kitchen to see Rocco and Blue drinking coffee with sweatpants and a plain black and white shirt on. Blue said, Hey umm don't tell the guys and girl that we didn't think we belonged please just don't. I won't,I said. I'll drive you guys to the airport,I said. We got in the car and I drove to the airport. We got there and their plane was called right on time. Call me everyday,I said to them with tears welling up in my eyes. Okay,they said but they were full on crying. They left and I went back home to see the guys on the couch. Why didn't you tell us they were leaving, Jake asked. LIKE YOU DIDN'T WANT THEM TO, I screamed as I fell to the floor crying. I felt someone hug me and screamed, GET OFF OF ME. I got up and ran up stairs.
I ignored the various knocks. I thought about something I never opened my letter from F.I.D.M. I grabbed it and prayed that I get in.
I opened it and only read the first 4  words. I smiled but I still wasn't in the mood. It said:
Congratulations you got accepted.
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1 Month later

I have been in my room for about a month but no I'm not starving myself considering I have a refrigerator in my room and a bathroom and I have officially shut everyone out of my life even Taylor. I never got phone calls or text from Rocco or Blue. I always talk to my little Mikey and my mother and I really miss Mikey but he's coming home in 2 weeks and I can't wait. I started cutting again due to stress. I decided to make a YouTube video so my fans won't think I'm dead. I tweet out.

@Yazzsofantas: Hey guys I'm not dead I just been going through some things but I'm making a YouTube video any suggestions for it.

I Tweet the Tweet out and got many replys.But one stood out to me. From
@Yazzymygirl: Do a reaction video from your hate.

I got out my Camera and started it.
Hello everyone before I start my reaction video I just wanted you guys to know that I'm really depressed right now and don't really have enough energy for alot of social media so just know I'm not like you know dead, I said as I looked at the camera. Okay so this is a reaction video from my hate and it's alot, I say.
The first one is from @Ihateyazzsofantas:Why do you look so much like a slut right now
Reaction: Okay listen here you bitch if you think a sweatshirt,sweatpants,and some uggs is a real slutty outfit, then the sluttiness you have judging by your profile pic Is blinding you like forreal you look like you woke up and just put on your bra and panties and some clown make up and said I woke up like this, I said as I laugh.

@Fuckyouyazzass: Are you like a lesbian because you act like it but it's not like any girl would want you anyway
Reaction: Okay first I'm not a lesbian but are you because apparently you surely want to fuck me and your A girl so I believe you want me but who can blame you I'm so irresistible, I said as I flipped my hair and laughed harder.

@Yazzisanass: Your such a nobody the only reason your famous is because you use auto tune for your covers and I can't say songs because you only have one like Are you even gonna make anymore.
Reaction: Okay one, I'm not a nobody if my ass has fans out there that love me and I love them. Two, I don't use auto tune and I never used it in my life.Three, I actually do have a EP coming out in 2017 but what music are you producing?, I ask with a confused face.

@Yazzarmyhahayouthought: I don't like you and your just a suicidal freak like come on we can all see your cuts.
Reaction: OKAY SO WHAT I DON'T CARE IF YOU LIKE ME OR NOT AND DOES MY CUTS EVEN CONCERN YOU, YOU DUMB ASS FAKE ASS NO HAIR ASS HAVING DICK AT THE TOP OF YOUR LIP ASS BITCH, I scream.

Okay that is all for today because well I'm pissed off and probably gonna cut again, I said with no enthusiasm. Okay well give this video a big thumbs up and subscribe thanks guys I love you and stay strong, I said with a warm smile and blew a kiss😘😘😘.

I uploaded my youtube video and tweeted out.

@Yazzsofantas: Guys new video out its a reaction of my hate and please forgive me for the outburst but I was pissed.

I turned around and saw all of the guys and girl in my room.
I sigh. Get out,I say. No your gonna talk to us we haven't seen or heard you in a month,Mahogany cried.
Okay look guys I'm sorry It's just that the only reason Blue and Rocco left was because they thought that they didn't belong and that you guys hated them here and that's the only reason they took the London job and I'm just pissed at you guys for doing some shit like that and they promised me that they would call and text me everyday but I haven't received one call yet not even when they got off their plane and do you know how hard that is for someone who has been best friends with them for 5 years and it's heartbreaking, I cried.
And Jake Ill never forget what you said to Blue and Taylor what you did to blue, I said. I looked at Taylor.
Also Taylor this is your last strike and me and you are hanging on by a loose thread the only reason I want you to try in this relationship is because I don't won't to end up like my parents my father went his way and me, Jake, and my mother went our way. Taylor, they broke it off over something like this and I don't want that to happen to us and michael to grow up without a mother or father. So what I'm saying is get your shit together and pull your big boy pants up and ride the bike without training wheels, I said to Taylor. He smiled.

I turned to Jake. Jake what's really going on no offense but your here too much, I said to him. He had tears in his eyes. That night when I got kidnapped me and my girlfriend started arguing and she took Yasmine and left to go live with her new boyfriend that's what made me go to the bar but I was kidnapped. I just don't want to be alone in that house filled with our memories, he said crying. I ran to him and and he cried into my shoulder. It's okay bro,I whispered. After he stopped crying I said, You Can live with me, Michael and Taylor. Really, he asks. Really, I confirmed. OMG GUYS GUESS WHAT, I screamed. What, they asked flinching from my outburst. I GOT INTO F.I.D.M IM LEAVING IN NEXT YEAR,I screamed jumping up and down. They cheered and we did a group hug.