"oh, fuck."
those were his first words to her.
"shit, sorry."
and those were her first words to him.
neither could have guessed what'd come of meeting on the rooftop of their building at midnight when they both needed a getaway from their own profou...
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• cool girl // tove lo •
The pair were sitting at a table, smiling fondly at those who danced—more so at the newlyweds that had yet to step off the dance floor. Archer and Jaiden had been holding on to each other, slow dancing to every song, and murmuring with smiles on their faces, seemingly in their own little world.
Then Jax noticed Kaede's sudden change in attitude. She'd stopped smiling, her pupils were blown, and she was breathing heavily while trying to hide it. Then he realized what was happening.
"Kae, let's take a walk," he said, offering her his hand.
She gratefully accepted, holding his hand while his other rested on the small of her back to help her move along. They got to a quiet hallway where it seemed no one would bother them, and it was far enough away from the music to speak lowly.
Jax tried to help her, but he wasn't exactly sure what to do. So, he was very grateful when Harper came through the hallway doors, stating that she saw the couple walk out with that look in Kaede's eyes she knew all too well.
"I think it's an anxiety attack," he said frantically. "I can usually talk her down before she gets too far, but I don't know how to help her."
"Kaedie, look at me," Harper lifted Kaede's chin, grabbing her hands. "I need you to breathe, baby girl. Focus on me. In and out. In and out."
Kaede did as she said, taking breaths in and out in time with Harper's. The ginger kept speaking while Jax continued to run his hand down Kaede's arm.
"Whenever this happens, there is a way to get her back," Harper said to Jax. "You hold her hands and get her to breathe with you. It grounds her and gets her focus on something other than what's caused it."
Jax nodded, thanking her. Then he turned to the girl who'd just caught her breath. "Do you want to tell us what just happened out there?" he asked encouragingly, running his fingers through the locks of dark hair that had pooled around Kaede's shoulders.
"I... I haven't seen them in three years," she said, her voice hoarse. Her hand grabbed Jax's arm, and she took a step toward him, which let him know to come forward. So he did and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. "I'm sorry," she whispered to him, squeezing his hand to ground herself.
"Don't be."
"Your parents? You saw them?" She nodded at Harper's question. "I didn't even know they got here."
"Listen to me. You're stronger than this, alright? You're strong enough to see them. If you don't want to talk to them, you don't have to. Say the word, and we will get out of here if you need to. But I think—I know you can do this."
He felt her nod against his shoulder. Harper watched the two of them with bewilderment.
"Okay," she said, standing on her own. "I'll meet you back out there. I'm just going to go to the bathroom."
He nodded with a small, proud smile as she stepped away then walked out the door, leaving him and Harper.
Said ginger looked over at Jax with a knowing smirk. He asked why she was staring and she shrugged, saying, "I think you two would be good together." His mouth fell slack, and he was about to speak when she raised her hand to stop him. "I know that girl a lot better than she thinks I do. She asked you to come because she couldn't handle facing her parents alone, even if she had me. And you came because you care about her, but you aren't dating."
He sighed, "You're good."
"I know."
"You're wrong about one thing, though." His statement made her left eyebrow rise. "We wouldn't be good together," he clarified. "I mean, yes, of course, I care about her. Anyone that meets her can tell what... an amazing person she is. But I'm no good for her."
Harper crossed her arms, a judging expression coming to her face. "I just met you this morning, but I can see how good for her you are." He was about to disagree when she raised her hand, so he shut his mouth with a huff of air coming out his nose and a roll of his eyes. "Asshole," she muttered, walking away.
"Hey," he called. "I am an asshole. I know that. I also know she can do a fuck ton better than me. Because that's what she deserves. She deserves someone who—"
"Who is always ready to defend her? Who holds her purse while she punches her ex? Who knows when she's had nightmares and learns to keep them away? Someone who binge-watches her favourite movies with her? Someone who puts up with her she-devil cat? Who recognizes when she's having an attack? And understands her anxiety, and doesn't tease her, or leave her, but helps her live with it because he knows it may never go away—but still cares about her through all the baggage she's got? Because yes, she's damaged, but you're just as broken," Harper said, pushing her index finger onto his chest.
Jax didn't say anything for a moment, unsure what to say first. "How did you—"
"She talks. And I'm perceptive," she tilted her head at him. "You're a good guy, Jax. Try to run with the asshole trope all you want. It doesn't change the fact you look at her like she's your whole world."
"You have no idea what you're t—"
"Oh, but don't I?" she narrowed her eyes at him. "Stay friends. See if I care. You have all the time in the world to pretend the only love you share is platonic. It's not like there's someone else out there who'll put up with her high maintenance ass," she finished with a sarcastic smirk, walking toward the exit. "Thank me when this is your wedding."
Harper left him thinking over what she had told him. That was when he finally came to his senses. Jax muttered profanities, realizing with a whisper, "I'm in love with her."
