The Ruby in the Storm

Chapter 14: The Perfect Coward

When she needed him most, he was there. She demanded that he marry her, because her brother had just destroyed her family. If she had not married Samuel, a man who was infatuated with her, she and her sister would have been alone and destitute. She did the right thing, the proper thing. She needed a husband and he took her in, and had been a good husband to her ever since. Pushy, stuffy and horridly traditional, but a good husband. All he asked for a child, and she couldn't give him that.

The wine.

Women on Belmoran spoke. That talked about Leila's shortcomings. How she had to beg and plead for Samuel to marry her, when that was just not the case. She took an opportunity that was presented to her, one that she did not have to beg for. But what use would that information be now? Samuel was gone. He sailed off to Charlestown to fetch his sister—a horrible idea that Leila knew would end in turmoil—and now she was left to run the estate alongside Edward Worthington, a man she hardly knew. She needed the wine.

Running a hand over her face, Leila stood and wrapped her robe around her shoulders. She glanced at the bed and sighed, feeling a sense of dread at the thought of having to tell her husband upon his returned that they had no child. And knowing htat his agenda would fail, that was going to make him furious. Leila wasn't sure why she cared how anything made Samuel feel, she had no love for the man nor any desire to spare his feelings. But now that she knew what desperation felt like, perhaps it was the need to never feel it again that drove her. She needed to have a child for Samuel so he would not be rid of her. It was her final desperate attempt to end desperation for good. But how could she do that now that he was gone?

The wine.

Leila felt herself picking at the skin around her nails and she quickly stopped, running her hands up and down her arms. She felt chills even though it was warm in the house. She felt like someone had taken a bucket of ice water and dumped it over her head. A fire in the hearth would not help. Only the wine would. It would solve everything for now. A temporary fix.

She needed it, but she had to wait until nightfall.

Dr. Nemo—Jarrel—never denied her what she wanted. She had no desire for him, only what he could give her. Hell, she had more desire for her husband than she had for the wicked peddler, the man who sought after women's needs and led them astray with promises to fulfill them. She saw through his act and fell for it anyways, because he had what she needed, and she had to go to him to get it.

Leila placed a hand on her belly and breathed in, trying to settle herself. What if she could never have a child? Or what if it was Samuel? One of them was doing something wrong, she just wished she knew who it was. He was not impotent, but there were other ways men failed in procreating, that much Leila knew. But she did not want to point the finger of blame without proof, especially not when she needed this marriage to work. With it, she could secure a marriage for her sister. Without it, they would be destitute.

God, but she needed the wine. The need was consuming every bit of her, every bone in her body. She was not sure if she could wait until nightfall. But to go now would be a great risk, as it was broad daylight. All eyes were always on her when she was out and about, the young women of little means who was now Mrs. Worthington. Leila had become accustomed to always being careful, she couldn't falter now.

Samuel, come home... Come home.

Her need to have her husband home confused her, but she didn't question it. Instead, she had to find a way to exist. She needed the wine.

Leila turned when a knock sounded on her door, and her maid popped her head in.

"What is it?" Leila asked.