Phase Two (Steve + reader)

Hold Nothing Back

     Nothing was working!

    Jemma for all her kindness couldn't give you straight answers.

    Tony was full of ridiculous ideas, none of which sounded smart to you.

   There was a pressure building in you chest, that had grown in the past two days. It was suffocating, literally and mentally.

   You lock your door and mentally shut out the sound of Jemma on the other side of it.

  You needed a break.

   Any sane person who saw you climb the outside of your building would have called you down. But let's face it, you weren't exactly sane right now. You were indulging your recklessness, side effect of dating Steve.

   You grip the ledge of the twenty eight floor balcony and pulled yourself over.

   The landing is graceful; you simultaneously skin your knee and smash your face into the exterior tile.

   Smooth, Y/N.

   You bite back a curse and scramble to your feet before anyone can see.

   In your chest a heartbeat seems to echo against the back drop of the city. This is your way of coping. This is your solution.

   Clenching your fist, you aim your lips at the sky and release all the pressure that piled on you in the past year in one long shriek that bursts your eardrums and shakes your balance.

   "This is for Steve, Hydra scum!" You yell letting tears flow freely "For all the years he's lived under your shadow. This is for Bucky. For the years of silence when he couldn't speak for himself. This is for me. For taking the people I care for the most and making them feel like less then they are."

You yell until your voice is hoarse and you are drained of tears. All the pent up anger fades into weariness.

By this time, your escape is discovered and nurses burst through the glass doors of the balcony.

"Ms. Y/N, are you alright?"

Jemma reaches you first and you stare at her, through puffy bloodshot eyes. She calls for a gurney and puts your arm around her neck.

   "Let's get you inside." She says with that annoyingly sweet voice.

   You accept her help. The body which climbed three floors is weak from the incredible effort you put into that scream.

   Once situated on the gurney, Jemma expresses her disapproval "What were you doing? Trying to kill yourself? Almost gave me a heart attack!"

   "Jemma" your voice cracks "I'm okay. Just had something I needed to get off my chest."

   "I hope so!" She launches into a tirade about your recklessness, and you groan.

   I really miss you, Steve.