Phase Two (Steve + reader)

Let Me Go

Clint sits on the edge of this seat and studies the passing scenery. Natasha squirms in her seat beside him, not speaking a word.

Darn Coulson!

Natasha could have handled this mission alone. No one knew the inner workings of Hydra's Red Room like she did. Well, Bucky might, but he was brainwashed during most of his training.

And Clint, why had he become so clingy? They had always been partners, but she made the calls. They were fine, then.

She glances at him.

Clint offers a small smile, and goes back to staring.

Even that little bit still makes Natasha weak in the knees. She'd never stopped loving his gentle strength. What she wouldn't give to have his arms around her now.

Unfortunately, she had made her choice. This was something she had to do alone.

Everyone knew she was a product of the Red Room. Everyone knew there was considerable amounts of red in her ledger. No one, not even Clint knew to what extent.

No one, except maybe Bucky, knew the shame that all the Hydra projects carried. No one knew how dirty the Hydra goons could make you feel. The images of those stiff collared maniacs disguised as educators, still sent a chill through her.

You and Steve were lucky, she mused. Your secrets no matter how dark or how frightening could never compare to her reality.

These were things she vowed never to share with Clint, and now she wouldn't be able to hide them.

Would he ever love her the same?

- - - -

Steve puts the Quinjet on autopilot and reclines slightly in his seat.

Bucky slouches in seat beside him, his expression hidden by his scraggly hair.

"Everything alright?" Steve asks.

The dark haired man pushes out his lower lip and glances at his friend "No. No, not really."

"You're not a Hydra tool, anymore."Steve reminds him "T'Challa and his team did their best to bring you back. They even gave you a new vibranium arm."

"I can trust the Wakandans, but I can't trust myself. I'm sure they did their best, but I can't know until I know." Bucky says quietly "This will be the first time I've been to Russia since I was the Winter Soldier. Things may not have changed for them. They may still hate me. I killed their innocents, Steve, and once more I'm good at it.Whoever got in my way, I... murdered them."

Bucky's frankness makes Steve's mouth dry.

You're a lucky man, Rodgers. Don't blow it. Bucky needs you.

"Promise me something" Bucky gets an iron resolve in his eyes "If they get me and I go into a berserker rage. Promise you'll put me down permanently."

"Bucky-" A cold fear grips Steve's heart.

Is this what we've come to?

"Promise me" Bucky grits his teeth.

"You came back before, Buck" Steve insists "You're strong enough to do it again."

Bucky groans "I'm serious, Steve. Don't try and be heroic."

Steve's steely expression mirrors his friend's "I won't kill you, Bucky. End of conversation."

"Let me go, Steve. Either way, neither of us are coming out of Russia the same."