Losing My Mind

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Show no mercy.

The phrase triggers something in Bucky and he grits his teeth and fires.

One girl goes down, struggling to fire her weapon as a last stand.

Out of the corner of his eye, a familiar red notebook is opened and the hated words begin.

Longing.

A part of Bucky seems to wake, and pushes to the surface.

Rusted.

He feels helpless to fight it, as used to the feeling as he has become.

Furnace.

Daybreak.

Seventeen.

Each word is like flipping on a switch, activating a different part of his Winter Soldier persona and placing a blinder over reality.

Benign.

Nine.

Bucky curls into a ball trying to block out the words. He grasps desperately at the part of himself that is being pulled away by the activation words.

Homecoming.

One.

Freight car.

Steve meets his eyes as the familiar rage envelopes him.

Too late, Steve realizes what has happened and dives at the speaker "Fight it, Bucky!"

The girl falls sideways and the book falls from her hands "It is too late."

Steve glances back at his friend and the girl pulls a knife.

He only has just enough time to block it and only receives a nick to his forearm thanks to Tony's specially designed uniforms.

The girl is easy to put down, though Steve cannot bring himself to kill her.

Natasha isn't so lucky. She stands in middle of the bodies of her sisters, a grimace tugging at her lips.

Its gonna be a massacre if they don't get out of here.

"Move out" Steve barks at her and Clint.

Clint almost stops mid swing, and catches one of the girls with the tip of his bow "Darn it!"

Natasha pushes him forward and fires behind her, trying to draw the girls away from Steve.

She succeeds.

Steve sprints toward his friend, who is still crouched in the corner of the hall "Buck"

"Steve" He sounds broken "End it, please."

Steve sighs in relief "We have to go."

"Let me go, Steve" Bucky insists, trying to calm the sudden rush of adrenaline in his veins.

Steve pulls Bucky into a standing position and jerks him forward "Not after you begged to go on this mission. I could have called Sam instead, but no. You volunteered and surrender is not an option!"

The absurdity of this pep talk in the middle of their situation is heartwarming to the former Winter Soldier. He steadies himself and puts on a half hearted smile for Steve's benefit.

"Soldier?"One of the girls has stayed behind.
She does not attack them, she merely watches.

The words are torn from his throat and James Buchanan Barnes feels the familiar blankness of his alter ego "R-ready to comply."

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