Chapter Eighteen

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The moment Kenya was about to leave the police station, Gertrude went to her and apologize. He told her that he chose to use the Hillstone road in particular, because it is faster to travel using that route than to wait for the traffic to subside. He also explain to her that he often use that route especially when he was in a hurry and this was the first time he ever experienced such problem despite of the eerie atmosphere.

For her, choosing to not be left alone in the car, he was thankful. He realized it just now, how dangerous it would be for a lady or to anyone to be left alone in a middle of dark road.

An embarrassment starts to linger in Gertrude system when the car broke down in that specific dangerous place. The reason, she have to walk a long way just to get out of it. Judging from how late it is now, he has a reason to be embarrassed.

Although he almost left her in the car earlier, she does not feel any animosity towards him. Maybe it roots to the way he talks empathetic to her and when she saw how he prioritized his own family. The care he had when he was talking to his wife was very lovely in her eyes.

Suddenly, an idea popped up in her head, she took her purse out and gave Gertrude a fifty dollar bill. Gertrude looked at her bewildered and puzzled.

"It's a gift for your twins as an apology for taking up your time through that drive"

"N-no, no you don't have too. I even cause you delay when my core broke down"

"It's okay, buy those little kids a gift or a cake since its very late. There's a dessert shop a block from here."

He looked at Kenya in an undecided way. He was skeptical to accept it, but Kenya does not wavered. He end up thanking her for the gift.

Kenya felt happy and sad, it would feel great if she experience celebrating her birthday with both of her parents present. What would it be like if her father did not run away from her mother when she was a baby. Maybe her mother does not have to work abroad, maybe she would have younger siblings too, and maybe she would not feel envious towards other people.

Alone in a dimmed lit house, Kenya is lying on the couch, facing the ceiling. Her thoughts shambles like a whirlpool in the ocean. Her face could not be read as she herself, was not sure what to think.

Her body was screaming for her to rest, at the same time, a faint sound of growl can be heard. Her stomach is growling, asking her to feed it but she did not bother to stood up. She has nothing to eat since she did not cook anything earlier, before she went to school. Even though she have a fresh ingredients to use to cook, she does not have an energy to do it. All she wanted was to fall into a long slumber but her mind does not let her.

Another roar echoed throughout the living room, her stomach is not begging her to feed it, it was commanding her. Should she just order a food? but it would take longer to arrive since today's Friday night. By the time the food arrives, her stomach probably be aching as her ulcer might be triggered.

She was used to eat once a day just because she does not want to eat, reason why she has a very thin body. The difference of today is that, she must eat to alleviate the exhaustion her body feel.

In her cupboard, Kenya saw an instant cup noodles, she took a beef flavored one and pour a hot water in it. While waiting for it to be cooked, she stride her way up to her room after closing the lights downstairs. Her bag was hanging on her shoulder while her hand was holding the cup noodles.

The next thing she know, she was already wearing her pajamas while savoring the entirety load of the cup noodles. The taste of the unhealthy food enhanced because of her hunger, that even until the last drop of soup did not escape from her mouth.

Stomach full, she laid comfortably on her bed with her limbs positioned like she was making a snow angel on a cold icy winter. Little by little, her eyes starts to feel heavy as her consciousness fade away. She somehow hope to have an endless rest where she does not have to think of anything else but peace.

"I love you my little girl"

In the middle of a vast garden of flowers and various plants, stood a fancy gazebo. The gazebo enhanced the beauty of the unknown garden with its white paint and five meters high roof. Under its shade, I found myself sitting beside a tall man. The feeling of warm and familiarity stirs inside me as I replied like it is a common thing to say.

"I love you too"

The man kissed my forehead and I did not flinch to the sensation of his damp lips against my sensitive skin. His arms wrapped around my body as he rest his chin on top of my head.

'What kind of feeling is this? It is so warm and peaceful. It is so comfortable, I feel like I'm belong. I never want this feeling to end'

'I love you more my little girl, as well as this tiny little human'

After saying those words, he put a space on us, his right arms still wrapped around my shoulder while his left hand fall into my stomach. His huge hand caress my bloated stomach that I did not noticed earlier, but the thing that shocked me was, everything felt felt natural.

Wondering, my gaze try to reach his face. In spite of not being able to decipher what he looks like, my heart flutters and I felt happy that I even smile at him. Everything passes like a dream though, the sensation feel real than the real life. I buried my head on the man's side while my arms are around his waist.

My heart grew fond of this feeling even it just a very short time, and even though I could not see the man's face. Is it a dream? I don't want this to end. Don't end yet.

The garden in front of me, where my eyes are staring, started to wither. The surrounding which was filled with life a few moments ago, now looks dull. The clouds up above, the horizon, are now wearing the darkest shade of gray. The color of surrounding was too distorted that it instantly made me depressed.

I wonder how it come to this. Just few moments ago, I was filled with indescribable happiness and warm but now, all I feel is cold breeze of wind. The heavy sky started to pour its content unto land, the faint sound of tiny droplets of water at the start, starts to become ballistic.

Shwaaaahhhhhh

My heart feel heavy as an indistinct vague feeling of pain swell inside me. Don't I deserve happiness? All I want is a warm feeling of being belong, I want to enjoy my happiness with someone who loves me with all of his heart.

While I was buried deep in my thoughts, a blinding lightning on the horizon made me shut my eyes, then an ear-piercing thunder followed.

Its as if, God was mocking me for being happy with someone I don't even know. Don't I deserve happiness? All I want is a warm feeling of being belong, loved and needed.

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