Lost Souls

Chapter 8

✧ Fawn ✧

Pulling into my driveway, I think for a moment. I took my time sitting in the silent car just pondering my life. Mostly about Lucas, but also about my friends. It's amazing how little time we have, milliseconds keep passing by, we don't even realize what we are truly missing. It just makes everything a bit more precious.

"So how was church Pookie?" My grandpa asked softly as I walked through the door.

I smiled to myself at the nickname that he has for me. "It was great." I said as I reached for a hug.

My grandpa and I were very close, we always have been. He was like my Father, him and I have always been the best of friends. We did everything together, I love him so incredibly much. He held me in his warm embrace for a few minutes then slowly lets go and kisses me on the top of my head.

"Go get ready for bed. I love you." He smiled.

"I love you too papa." I responded before making my way to my own personal space.

I walked up the old wooden stairs and made my way towards my bathroom. I did all of the necessities usually required before one makes their way to bed. I was almost done when I caught myself gazing in the mirror just admiring who I was. I loved being myself, I am content with who I am , and I wasn't going to change for the world.

I was about to go into my room when a red haired giant stepped in my way. Scott was trying to get information out of me, I had a strong feeling it was going to be about Lucas "Scott, stop!" I spat at him with a slight laugh trying to shove his massive body out of my way.

"So Fawny, how was church?" He asked.

"Good." I simply said, trying to push past him to get into my room.

"How was Lucas?" He asked, his voice turning firm.

"Fine, Scott." I answered with annoyance clear in my voice. He was always interrogating me about Lucas Any chance he got he was bashing on him just trying to upset me, but that's what big brothers are supposed to do, right?

"Fawn," he sighed, " High school relationships never last, so don't get too attached."

I gave him a questioning look then shook my head. "Why you telling me this? And why do you care?" I spat.

"I care because I'm your brother! I'm just trying to prepare you for what's going to happen. Fawn, you don't know what love is, and this isn't going to last. Just face it!"

I just stood there locking my eyes onto his, what was he trying to get at? He's never mentioned any of this before so why does he care now? "Scott, you don't know Lucas, and you don't know my heart, so please just stop talking," I scoffed.

"Fawn! You will fall in love more then once, I promise you! Come on kid, don't get too attached to this guy."

I shook my head as I finally gained the strength to push past him, Grabbing my door handle I look back at him and say one last thing before slamming my door shut. "I'll be fine, I know what I'm doing." I reassure him.

He was probably just trying to get under my skin, but some of the stuff he was saying was starting to get to my head. What if this is just a fling? What if he really doesn't like me? How long will this last? My anxiety was rising as the never ending questions kept flowing through my head pushing at my brain. Of course I couldn't process this all at once. I was trying to just push all these thoughts out of my head or at least drown them out with the happiness Lucas filled me with.

"Stop.thinking." I kept telling myself as I buried my face in my hands trying to make it all go away.

I finally started to focus on something else after a couple of minutes: what to wear to bed. Looking around, I grabbed a pair of dark blue shorts and a big, old, baggy t-shirt. I let out a huge sigh before collapsing on my bed hoping I'd sink into a deep sleep.

"Stop, Don't think about it." I told myself once again.

I have nothing to worry about, everything is going to be perfect and God will work it out. I have other important things to do and to worry about. Scott was just trying to get into my head to mess with me, he just wanted to freak me out. I took deep breaths, in and out, rolling over onto my side I shut my tired eyes forcing myself to fall asleep.

I had no idea what was going to happen with Lucas. Who knows if he was only here for season, Because I do know that he came here for a reason. I should just enjoy the time I have now. The future is not in our hands, It's in God's hands.

Besides, stressing over the future will get me nowhere. It would be just like trying to control the weather, useless and exhausting.