it was black ◎ psycho pass

~Chapter 48~

I'm suppressing the urge to delete this
--------

A knife was pressed roughly at my throat, a hand was wrenching my head back. I was too confused to think, too hurt to cry.

"Listen here, daughter, I'll explain it all to you so it's easier for you to understand." The snake hissed from by my ear.

From my blurred eyes I could see the MWPSB run in with dominators. Even if I was 'cured', it didn't stop me tensing up. The dominators didn't sit well with mother either, who, within seconds, had pushed the blade further into flesh.

"M-mother.." I hissed. "Please don't."

I could feel blood oozing out of the fresh cut, and the pain tingled around it. Her voice next sent shivers down my arms.

"We were both researchers for the hospital- your father and I. That was how we first met. We began working on a new project, together."

I could feel her grip tightening.

"We thought- what would happen if we could control somebodies Crime Coefficient? We can lower it- but can we make it go higher?"

Kyle slammed a hand on the bed. "You monster! Why would you ever do that when we're trying to make people better?!"

It was true. Kyle, Mels, Jake and even myself had all been trying to cure latent criminals- aka me. Of course it would make Kyle angry the most, he's been in this project for roughly 10 years.

"Exactly what he said." Mother removed the knife for a second. We began arguing about it while we were cooking dinner that night-"

"No." I flatly whispered. She couldn't bring this up. She wouldn't.

"The night..."

"Please!"

"When your father died! You were traumatised for life and I finally got the perfect guinea pig to try all the experiments!"

Kyle's hand clenched on the counter, fingernails dragging on the metal surface. With it the metal forceps was brought in his grasp. Hopefully he wouldn't try anything out or I would be sliced into pieces. Little pieces.

"You couldn't cope with the trauma so you blocked it out, with something. Or should I say- someone?"

What..?

"Where is she, Zara?"

How did she..

Mutters of confusion littered around the group of psychologists and MWPSB. Mother's 'encouraging' words ghosted my ear.

"Oh, you didn't tell them? Why don't you say now?"

"The day I w-woke up after the accident there was somebody in my head."

My voice didn't sound like me. It sounded small and hoarse, grasping onto the strings of consciousness with buttered fingers.

"She would talk to me, and would protect me from black hues and g-going crazy."

After a shaky breath, I continued.

"The only time I could see her was in my nightmare land." I looked up to them. "She would try to keep me down there in my mind because she was... lonely."

"The drugs they gave me to make me better made me have nightmares. So I started to run away- but they caught me."

They caught me.

All the running- was useless.

You can't escape from the Sibyl system.

It never ends happily.

"They kept me on the.. table. Every day. All day."

Flashes of terrible images passed through my mind and sent shivers down my arms. The unknowing fear of when they would stick a needle in or where. The shiny table, reflecting the light from the single burning lamp above. Even the creak of the door as they arrived.

"I found out that I wasn't like other kids. My watch would give me drugs and my Psycho-Pass was out of control. I would stay in the hospital for most days and had to come back after a day or two. Even then they m-made me take new drugs that made my mind feel- and it was.. it was.. horrible."

Mother forced my mouth open.

"Whenever I got really bad, I would snap. There's sadness, anger, happiness, or fear. Usually it was anger. Everyone would be scared of me. Learn about me in textbooks. Think that I was a monster. I do things I don't want to and have to knock myself out to stop hurting people! I-I-I'm sorry!- "

A strangled gasp left my throat. I slumped down. Mother dominantly pushed the syringe down and pulled it out with a quick flick of the wrist. The party watching jumped but couldn't do anything, as the knife was still there.

Mother removed the knife, and pointed at the monitor. After a few seconds of suspense, I wondered what was going to-

Electric jolts tore at windpipe; I left claw marks with the amount of scratching. Pain paralysed my throat, leaving me speechless. The pain was unimaginable. I didn't even know this type of pain existed!

"As you can see, this is a new drug to paralyse the throats of the criminals." Mother directed towards the horrified party. "This is the type of drugs being used on Zara, and will continue to be used. The special transmitter in her neck was taken out by the idol doctor, so highly concentrated solutions cannot be injected there. The only option is through more drugs. For the good of latent criminals."

From my bedraggled position, I could see the Hue monitor darkening more. Or maybe that was just my vision.

Just hold on, Zara, don't let your Hue get bad- don't make it bad. It'll go away, Zara, just hold on, it'll all be better in a minute you just need to get better. It'll be all better if you get through the black- But it was black. It was all black wasn't-

Zara what the hell are you doing?? Just cause it's black doesn't mean you can give up- they're making you better right now!!

But- it was black.

I don't give one if it was black or not! I came all the way back here to beat your ass back into living!

Wh-

Get yourSelf bacK to living. Before I physically drAg you there.

..Okay I'm fine. It's okay. It was black, but it'll all be better- but..

But what?

It ain't getting better.

The hell are you doing?

Just go to sleep. I've had enough.

wOAH WAIT

~END~

NO DONT END IT

~END~

sTO-

~END~