It Started With You + Me

Chapter 39: Don't let go

-NINA'S POV-

I didn't understand what was happening, my world had flipped from pure estacy to complete darkness in a matter of minutes. I looked him square in the eye and let my inner, less reserved self make an unwanted appearance.

"You don't understand what it was like." Scoffing internally, my jaw clenched in anger and my eyes felt steely and full of disgust.

Of course I understood! I was the one who was left, alone, without an explanation. A piece of paper and a promise. My anger was brimming and it turned into a point where tears began to threaten. But not until I made my point, then I could storm out of the kitchen and make my dramatic exit, then they flow for all I cared. 

"I was left. you made no attempt to even try and contact me. Do you know what that feels like?" My voice was becoming strained and slightly tight. I tried to keep any talk to a bare minimum or a clipped tone that would give no weakness away.

"Yes..." the whisper I heard was gentle and pleasing to the ear, a mere whisp of breath interwined in layers of pain and misery. Layered upon regret and the dwellings of past mistakes.

"I'm sorry Nina. I just... " the throbbing vein in his neck was replaced by a strained noise comming from the back of his throat. My tears were now starting to fall blindly, i couldn't let him see me like this. He couldn't see the effect he had. I was too scared to let him back into my life. I had been empty and broken for a while, and suddenly, day by day, week by week. Month by month my heart eventually numbed itself out. 

When I lay in bed, i would let the emotions wash over me in a blanket of confusion, but I wouldn't let anyone in that far. I had fallen hard, and fast and now my bones were too broken to climb to the top and start again. Instead I let myself become less emotionally invested. It was either hate or disinterest. But, never love.

It had taken me a while to understand that I had fallen hopelessly in love with Shea. And it just hurt too much. To have it all taken away from me, roughly. As if a giant hand came and pulled the rug of stability from underneath my feet. I didn't know where I was going, all I knew was that I had to get out of the cafe as quickly as possible. I refused to let myself fall for him, again. It was just too much. What if he left me again?

I stormed through the beaded curtains in the doorway and just as I had anticipated, Nika and Mia were chatting at the table we had left them at whilst Shea and I went to the kitchen to smooth things over.

"So did you guys have a fun make out ses-" Mia stopped in the middle of her sentence as she noticed the tears spraying across my face.
I pulled Nika to the side and started sobbing into her shoulder. I felt her tense up as water trickled down her neck. She just cooed and stroked my back letting me calm down.

In the kitchen, a loud thud echoed around the whole cafe. The reverb shook the whole structure and it was followed by the rough cracking of knuckles and a slew of swear words. Shea walked in, cradling his hand which was bloody and looked busted.

His rage only increased when he saw me talking to Mia . Hiding my head I felt my eyes grow wide as a revelation hit, I had no idea he could be so violent...

When I turned my head, my hair fell across my eyes, curtaining the wall of pain, and masking the tears. But from the corner of my eyes, i saw the look of horror and sadness as it all fully sunk in.

...

"NIKA! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU TAKING US ? Our hotel is the other way..." my voice fluctuated as the roaring anger subsided and my mousey voice filled the interior of the car.

"No we are going to that barbeque." She answered calmly, too calmly. My quenched anger was resurfacing again.

"I TOLD YOU TO DROP ME OFF AT THE HOTEL. There is no way, in hell that I am willingly going to see him again." My fingers started to shake and grip the side of the seat. She had no idea how much I wanted to rip the steering wheel out of her hands and take control of the engine.