Don't Forget Me

Chapter 34

After school I got to see Damien at the hospital. He looks happier, I think. His smile seems to be bigger and he's in a better mood than last night.

"So how was school?" He asks me as I go to straddle him.

"Good I guess, there's a new girl." I smile.

"Another victim to add to our group." We laugh.

Suddenly I felt dizzy and light headed.

"Woah." I mutter.

I take my hand to hold my face as I sway. I feel his hands against my hips. My vision goes really blurry.

"River are you okay?" I hear him but my ears are ringing.

"No." My head starts to hurt.

"Here take this." I see him open up a bottle of what looks like ibuprofen.

He hands me a pill and a glass of water that was laying on the table next to his bed. I thank him and take it. My head ache ceases a little and the ringing ends. My light headedness goes away and so does the dizziness. I thank him again.

"No problem. Are you sure you're okay?" His face is total concern.

"I don't know what that was... It was very strange though." I smile. "Maybe I'm sick."

"Aww don't be sick little bird." He says in a childish voice.

"I'll try not too." I cup his cheek.

We kiss. It's still passionate and full of love. But I get dizzy again.

"Damien, I have to go home." I pull away and walk to the door.

The look on his face was total confusion. He tries to get up but halfway decides that it's not a good idea.

"Wait why?" He asks me.

"I don't feel good. I'll just go home and get some rest. Being up so late and then going to school maybe messed up my head and making me sick." I shrug. "I dunno but I'm really really tired."

I decided to keep the fact that the group found out that we hooked up. Or at least thinks we did. I have to admit, if Daisy was in the hospital and Carter stayed with her I would have thought they did something too. It's just weird I guess. Didn't think they had no faith in me. Was it normal just to assume that? Especially to their perspective, we're just friends.

"Well get better so I can see you soon." He smiles a small one.

"Yea, yea okay." I open the door.

"River?" Damien asks.

"Yea?"

"Are you okay? Like after last night. I know it was both our firsts but... I'm thinking that you're getting a little more distant." He looks away from me.

"It's fine, I still care for you. A lot." I smile and leave the room.

I sigh. I hope I wasn't getting sick, I didn't need more time off of school. I didn't need to be at the hospital again. That was bad enough. I walk home and hop onto my bed. I get a text from Damien.

"Did you get home okay?"

"Yea, I'm home on my bed."

"Okay beautiful, if you're down I'm ready to repeat last night once you're better. ;)"

"Lol, maybe I don't know. Still wanna take it slow."

"Slow? Yea having sêx the first night is slow. Lol."

"Shut up handsome. Sit there and be cute." I laugh.

"See you tomorrow?" He asks.

"Of course! I'm gonna come right over after school."

"Okay cutie, see you then!"

"Sounds great, see you then Damien." I smile.

I couldn't help it. Ever since her came into my life he's been nothing but kind to me. It was a little set back when he was in the alley but now he's okay, he's gonna get better. Once he realizes I'm not leaving him.... Just... Like...

"No! Don't think about him." A tear runs down my cheek.

He came back though. Only to be angry and possessive. I don't know anymore, I'm so confused. Love is a strange thing, I think that's what my dad would say. Blake's nice now though, right? We have respect for each other. Right?

Or am I just a petty little dog who can't lead herself in the real world? I'd like to think not. Damien's a good guy, he really is. It's just that I think we are taking it too fast for my liking. What was I thinking doing what we did. We haven't even dated! Trust me it was good, but I'm wondering if it was the best thing to do then.

Regret. I didn't want to regret the things that happened last night. I didn't want to feel sorry, no pity. That night he had showed me no pity, came at me full force. I'm a little surprised the doctors didn't hear my screams. He was forceful almost, always rough. Maybe it's because it was his first time... He didn't know how to react. But neither did I.

I don't know, I think I'm over thinking this. No regrets and no pity. That was the rule I had made for myself. I was not the type of person to be like that. I did the things I did because I like him a lot. He wanted it, he wanted it so bad. His eyes were full of sadness till I said yes. Then they sparked with flame. He was always wanting my consent, nothing he did wasn't okay with me.

Then why was I still thinking about this?