My Favorite Mistake (1D / H.S./ Harry Styles)- REVISING

Chapter 35

Almost a year has passed since Louis and I moved in together. It has been an interesting time. We've had our ups and downs. Right now, we are on a down...well, I am.

We spend our weekends at home, mainly. Due to the popularity of the morning show, we get stopped nearly everywhere we go. I can't begin to wrap my head around how popular artists and actors deal with it. I know what we encounter is nowhere near that level and it is getting so hard to deal with. I don't blame Louis and I understand that it comes with his job but it still doesn't mean I have to like it.

I'm torn. I love him dearly but I can't stay cooped up inside every weekend. I want to spend time with him but when we go out, I have to share him with everyone else. I am so proud of his success and the fans that he meets validates that his hard work has paid off. I just feel like I've turned into a selfish bitch and I'm not happy with feeling that way.

I look forward to going to work during the week to be able to interact with my friends. It is the time when I'm the least stressed...no fake smiles...no sugar coating what I'm saying. I don't understand why I feel this way and it's making me mad at myself.

I think Louis senses that something is wrong. He's trying so hard to make me happy. How do you say to someone, delicately, that you love them just not what they do and how it has impacted your life? That wouldn't be fair. I can't stay and continue to be miserable, that isn't fair to Louis. I don't want to leave because it really isn't his fault and I don't want to punish him for his career choices in life. I have to figure it out.

Louis is at a promotional event for the morning show this evening and I'm home alone pondering all this crap. I didn't go with him because I was working late today. I whip up some pancakes for dinner. Breakfast for dinner is one of my favorite things...hell! Breakfast for every meal is one of my favorite things.

I sit and enjoy my dinner as I try to find something to watch on TV. My phone rings with a number I don't recognize. That rarely happens.

"Hello?" I answer.

"Sam?" I know that voice. My heart stops. "It's Harry. I hope you don't mind. I got your number from your mom."

"Harry?! I don't mind at all! How have you been?"

I changed numbers when I switched phone carriers just after our trip to Las Vegas. I hadn't spoken to Harry since I told him I was moving in with Louis. I never gave him my new number.

"I'm good. Thanks. I've been thinking a lot about you lately wondering what you've been doing and how you are."

"I'm ok, I guess. Wait! You contacted my parents to track me down?" I'm amused. "How'd that go?"

He chuckles. "It was a bit awkward. I honestly didn't expect your mom to give me your number."

"Me either!" I laugh. My mom was never too fond of Harry. Then again, she's never really fond of anyone. "What made you track me down, creeper?"

"Not sure, really. Just been thinking a lot about you and wondering what you've been doing. You're really vague about it online."

"Yea. I have to be." I continue to tell Harry all about the people I've met and the trouble I'm having with the fans right now.

He fills me in on his dating life that is nonexistent at the moment due to the recent ending of an eight month relationship. Once again, she wanted more and he wasn't ready. Harry needs to get ready for the next level sooner or later or else he's going to be alone for the rest of his life. I can't wait until I hear about that one girl that doesn't scare him off.

"I'm visiting my parents in Texas this week. It isn't the same as when they lived out there. Maybe I should make a short trip to visit or something. My friends there keep inviting me and I keep putting them off." He appears to be thinking out loud.

Then, he switches gears, "So, Sam, what are you going to do about your relationship with Louis? If this fan thing has gotten to you that bad, then you are either going to have to completely accept it or walk away."

"I know. There's no in between. I just don't want to hurt Louis. It really isn't his fault but it is effecting us and our relationship."

"It's a tough spot to be in. I'm sure you'll figure it out sooner or later."

"I'm so glad you creeped on me, Harry. Your phone call couldn't have come at a better time."

"What did I tell you? I'm always creeping. You just need to post more information to make my creeping job easier!" He teases.

"I'll take that into consideration." I laugh.

"I'm here if you need to talk, Sam. I always am."

"Thank you. I may take you up on that offer. It was good to hear your voice."

"You too. Be safe. I'll call you in a couple days. Goodnight, Beautiful."

"Night! Smooches."

I hear him chuckle and I hang up my phone. God! I have missed him! It was almost as if he heard my plea needing to talk to someone about where my head is at right now. How ironic that he calls me now.

Unfortunately, I'm leaning towards breaking up with Louis. Me being miserable isn't helping either one of us and me asking him to change his career when he is so successful at it is unthinkable. I can't just get used to it. I've tried that for a year now. I'll work through this month and see how I feel. I can't keep being this way to Louis.

As I get ready for bed, I hear him pull into the driveway. He walks into the bathroom and looks so tired. It's been a long day for him. He steals a kiss from me.

"How was your day?" He smiles.

"Crazy. How was yours?"

"Crazy too. I missed you. Are you ok?"

No! I'm contemplating our relationship.

"Yep. I'm good. I missed you too. Let's go to bed."

"I thought you'd never ask." He smiles wider and wraps his arms around me. We kiss some more and head to bed.

Why couldn't he have turned into a serious jerk or a raving asshole?! This decision I'm trying to make about our relationship would be so much easier. Ugh!