Chapter 18

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As amazing as this evening has been, I really need to think this through. My heart is screaming yes and my head thinks my heart is a dumbass. I keep going from one to the other.

"Zayn, I appreciate all that you have done and I really want to make sure this is right. I don't want to say yes and doubt your every move or hold a grudge. I don't want to tell you no and regret it later. Can I tell you an answer tomorrow?" I answer.

His face falls, "I guess I'm going to have to accept that. It isn't an immediate no." He looks on the bright side. "They're playing another slow song. Would you like to go back inside and dance?"

"I'd love to." And off to the dance floor we go.

We finish the night on a high note. He walks me to my front door and only asks for a hug. He knows better than to push his luck.

I make my way upstairs, wake my mom, and climb into bed. I text Harry.

"Just climbed into bed. It was a good night. Would love to talk to you tomorrow about it, if you can." I hit send.

I get a response in minutes, "Glad you had a good time and of course. 11:00 tomorrow? My house?"

"Great! Will you be awake this time? :P BTW, thanks. Zayn wants to get back together and I'm torn."

"We'll talk tomorrow. Falling asleep." He responds.

I place my phone on my nightstand and drift off to sleep.

* * * *

Harry's POV

Sam's on her way over to talk about whether or not to get back together with Zayn. I've been playing the whole conversation out in my head all morning. I'd love to keep her just mine but I don't dare let her know that she's got me wrapped around her little finger. Everything with Sam has been effortless. No stress. No drama. We enjoy each other's company on all levels. She is such a lovely person and the sex is really good. I'm thinking that I'm way more into her than she is into me. If I bring it up, I could lose her as a friend all together. I just don't think her heart is completely into it because of Zayn. I should keep mine guarded. Maybe I should advise her to get back together with him and watch him screw up again, which would send him out of the picture forever. I mean, he was never truly faithful to Sam. I doubt he could change.

I hear the doorbell ring and my mom answers the door. She calls up to me and I make my way downstairs to greet her. She looks up and smiles at me. Her smile is one of a kind because her entire face smiles. It's hard to describe. Her eyes beam, her nose crinkles, and she smiles. I know it sounds stupid.

"Hey!" She greets me.

"Hi. Shall we go out back?" I motion with a head nod in the direction of the backyard.

She nods and turns towards the direction of my nod. I hold the door just like I used to our junior year. She giggles, shakes her head, and swats at me. I lead her over to the hammock in the far corner of the yard. We sit on the edge and begin to rock.

"How are you?" I ask trying to get this conversation started although I still haven't a clue which way I should advise her to go. For purely selfish reasons I want her to stay single although it scares the hell out of me. I won't commit to her because I'm leaving and how do I know she's "the one"?

"I'm so confused!" She answers as she throws herself back almost turning the hammock over.

"Here." I climb onto the hammock and have her lie next to me. I dangle my foot off the side so I can rock us. She moves in closer placing her head and hand on my chest. This is not going to be easy to stay neutral. Dammit, Sam! I quickly repair that wall around my heart that she just so easily began to knock down. It's these simple moments with her that I will miss the most when I leave.

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