Serendipity | Jax Teller

Unspoken

It didn't help that her parents and other adults have shown her such a skewed version of love. In his experience, he didn't have such a pleasurable resume, but he knew it could be great and he could admit he almost lost himself or became crimpled. However, Jax decided to at least get her to talk about her mom since that seemed the bigger issue at hand – it was the root.

"Do you want to talk about your mom?" Jax expected her to decline so he was genuinely surprised by her words.

"I hate her," Delilah said. Jax thought this was the first time he ever saw her angry. He was used to Lip's angry monologues. Lip had no problem voicing his hate. "She left me and Lip, voluntarily, but I'm just so tired of being angry and sad about it. I mean what gives her the right to do this now and what can she possibly say to even try and justify this," Delilah went on as she began becoming hysterical and Jax immediately gathered her into his arms and he felt the warm tears on his bare chest as he tried to console her until she calmed down.

"I hate her so much, Jax, I try to bury it, but it sabotages everything," he heard her mutter against his chest.

Jax took his hands and cradled Delilah's face and wiped away the salty trail of tears away with his thumb, "I know you probably hear this a lot, but you're not your mother."

"Jax, I'm just scared," she revealed. "I'm scared that I'll lose myself with you."

"You don't need to be scared, Del," Jax told her and it made him wonder really what her relationship was like with Sebastian in high school and the one relationship she mentioned in college.

"I'm scared I won't be enough for you, Jax. You'll go just like my dad – not missing or something like that – but just gone from me in that sense and I would be a wreck." She said sniffling.

A frown overtook Jax's face as he listened to Delilah's deep-rooted insecurities. He tried to understand how his declaration opened all this. Jax brought Delilah back into him as much as she could with her swollen belly allowed as he kissed the crown of her head.

He thought those same insecurities she had about him he could share with her. Delilah had made a life for herself. She had an important and serious career for herself where she could exceed anywhere other than the small town of Charming. She could find herself someone who wasn't an outlaw biker and could offer her the world outside of bullets and blood. If anything, Jax was holding her back and when she realized that he would be the one left a wreck – in ruin – and he didn't even factor in their unborn son.

Jax didn't know where to even take the conversation so he only said the one thing that he could think of and that made sense, "I love you, Delilah."

Jax felt her tighten her arms around him in response.

Jax stood in the doorway of his childhood room as he watched Delilah sleep peacefully in his old bed. They were at his mom's house as she insisted on having a BBQ. He knew Delilah didn't want to be there, not because she didn't want to go because she was just tired all the time. Plus, it was her day off and she wanted to spend the day in bed, but of course, she knew it was all about appearances with the club so she dressed up in what he would say was a very tight-fitting dress that emphasized her pregnancy breasts that he was unsure on how to deal with it. According to Lamaze when she began nursing they could become larger although it was a plus for him, he didn't like the lingering stares she was receiving from people like Tig.

But at the end of the day, she was his and he didn't verbally say it yet, but she was his Old Lady. She was having his child. Despite those insecurities that she laid out to him a few days prior, it didn't change anything. In fact, by her telling him, it meant she was trusting herself with him, it meant that she must have been battling those deep feelings he would label as love for her to be frightened about their potential.