*josh POV*
The morning was... Cold and bitter with a small light shining through so thick grey clouds. some what reflecting my mood of this morning. Cold and bitter because of the way simon treated me but that little light shining through was what happened last night.
It was an awkward walk home. We took an alternative route so we didn't have to repeat that incident that occurred when we walked here. I couldn't blame him for the way he felt I don't really know how I even feel about it all. I know I felt something but i felt... Not a clue.
"It was fun last night" simon finally spoke after about 10 minutes of silent walking.
"Are you sure about that?" I said to him reminding him of what we done. he wasn't taking it so well.
he looked down at the floor defeated.
"yeah i am"
"but you said..."
"i know what i said" he interrupted me impatiently. i couldn't help but place a small smile on my face. he down to me, he was only a little bit taller than me. simon was the tallest out of all of the sidemen. me and him were the same age but i was older than him by 3 days and i always teased him about it, obviously in a joking matter.
"look josh i do really like you... as a mate" he quickly added on the last part "i just don't know what I'm feeling. i don't know if its you or boys or just the love part or the fact that i was drunk but i felt something and i need time to figure out what it was"
he spoke the truth. i too felt like that. after freya i guess i could have just wanted attention. i had been spending a lot of time with si recently and maybe could have developed some hidden feelings. and well i had never kissed a boy before, i could have enjoyed it or just been excited by it. but one thing was for certain we both felt something and that alone was enough to keep me sane.
As I was thinking deeply about what was just said and concentrating on the thick air, I felt a soft hand take mine. My natural instinct was to pull my hand away, which I did. I looked up at simon, he looked confused and upset by my mood.
"Sorry" I spoke "i wasn't expecting it" i slowly lowered my hand again as simon slipped his fingers in between mine. It felt right.
*Simons POV*
I really did not know my feelings but I figured the only way I would figure this out was to try out things. I didn't want to take advantage or use josh to do that but how would I ever be sure. I decided to take my chances and just try something simple. I saw him lost in thought and I decides to take my chance. I slipped my long pale fingers into his. He instantly drew his hand away causing me to feel a wash of sadness and confusion over me.
"Sorry, I wasn't expecting it"
He gently let his hand sink down to its pervious placing, inviting me to once again take it. I did. I slipped my fingers back into his and smiled at him. He returned the smile and let out a little happy giggle. This felt... right.
