Changing My World

Talk it out

(Trigger warning, some mentions of suicide)

Marie's POV

After storming upstairs, I stood in my room. Staring at my reflection. It isn't me. But it will be soon. I'm not this goth, I'm the scarred, helpless little girl who has nowhere to turn. Nobody who listens or understands.

As I stared at myself, there was a knock at my door. Instead of telling whoever it was to come in, I went up to the door and opened it a few inches so I could speak to whoever was on the other side.

It was Ryan. Well who else was it gonna be?

"I brought you some dinner" he said as he held out a plate covered in tin foil.

"Thanks" I said awkwardly as I took it from him and placed it on the side. As I was doing so, he walked in and closed the door. I turned round to see he was right in my face, a serious, and blank expression on his face.

"What?" I asked calmly as he stared into my eyes.

"Whats wrong?"

"Nothing"

"Sure."

"Seriously, I'm fine"

"Then why are you suddenly all gothic and moody?"

"Trying out a new look"

"What and a new attitude?"

"Yeah why not?"

"Because I don't like the new you!"

"And thought you thought it was funny?"

"I only said that so the others wouldn't get worried about you"

"Maybe they should be worried about me Ryan. Maybe they should"

"Well I am worried about you so please tell me what happened to make you change so much so quick"

"No"

"Why not?"

"Because it's always me Ryan!" I snapped, raising my voice a little. "It's always me who is in need, who is the damsel in distress. For once, you have the problem. And you won't even let me help?! Or even try and help yourself Ryan?!"

"Is that what's upset you?"

"It's what should be upsetting you! Take a look at yourself, you think you're the hero always helping, but you know what you're rubbish at?"

"What? Please just tell me"

"You Ryan, are rubbish at admitting you need help, and accepting the help that's offered"

"No I'm not"

"You're doing it now! And yesterday, you pushed me away because I was trying to help you and you didn't like that! You didn't like being the one in need for once! Well guess what? You're only human, not a superhero! You're allowed to be sad, you're allowed to ask for help and receive it!"

"That still doesn't explain why you're suddenly acting like nothing in the world matters?!"

"Maybe that's because nothing in this world, in my life does matter"

"What?"

"Well think about it. Compared to all of human existence, you, me, we are all just one tiny tiny little life form. We don't have a true meaning for living. We can't make an impact on our own. What's the point? If I died today it wouldn't matter..."

"It would matter to me..."

"But only for a matter of weeks, maybe a couple of months. Then you will slowly forget about my existence and I will slowly slip into oblivion. It will happen to all of us. We are all so small and insignificant and pointless"