the lucky one | adopted by hamilton [1]

70) friends

|trigger warning|

IZZY HADN'T BEEN ON her phone in four days. She was terrified to look at social media. She was terrified to put on makeup even though that was one of her favorite things to do. She was terrified to leave her room, except to go to the theater. When she did get to the theater, she locked herself in the extra dressing room she hung out in.

She was terrified of everything.

She was becoming more self conscious of how she looked. She hated her face. She hated her curves. She hated her body. She hated everything. She couldn't look in the bathroom mirror without wanting to pick up the razor that sat in her shower. She wished that Anthony and Jasmine had ignored her in the subway that July night and left her to die.

Izzy didn't want to start school again. Anthony and Jasmine enrolled her at a high school near the theater, so she could go to the theater after school. Izzy knew that people at school would know who she was, but even worse, what if the commenters on Instagram went to her new school?

The thought was pushed from her mind as she heard a knock at the door. It was Jonathan.

"Come in," Izzy whispered.

Jonathan opened the door, in his full King George attire. "Oh, Iz, you look awful," he said, sitting beside her.

Izzy shoved her face into a pillow and ignored him.

"What happened on Instagram was horrible. No one should ever get comments like that," he said.

"Where's Anthony? I want to talk to Anthony," Izzy weakly said.

"I'm sure he'd love to talk to you. He's been wanting that all week," Jon said.

"Well... Where is he?" Izzy asked.

"He's in the bathroom right now," Jon answered. "C'mere." He wrapped his arm around Izzy. "You can talk to me. I'm your best friend, right?"

"Right," Izzy mumbled.

"I'm serious, Isabelle," Jon said. "You're my other half. I love you to death, and if anything ever happened to you I would go insane."

"You're wrong," Izzy said. "I have nobody that cares about me. Nobody. That Instagram commenter was right. You guys just want me because I give you a good image." She cried into his chest, and he didn't seem to mind that she was getting tears all over his costume.

"Shhhh, no, that's not true at all," he said, rubbing her back. "We all love you so much, and we want the best for you."

"No, you don't," Izzy stood up.

"Nobody in this goddamn world cares about me. Nobody ever did, and I doubt anybody ever will." She was yelling now. "If I ran over to that open window, and jumped out, and died, would you care? No. Y'all would celebrate that my pathetic life is gone, and you can actually have fun instead of babysitting. It's not like I'm meant for anything great! Look at me, Jon. I'm uglier than a pile of shit! I'm not worth anybody's time or affection, and I have to leave. Don't even bother looking for me, because I'm not coming back."

Tears filled Jon's eyes as Izzy ran out of the room. As soon as he was finished playing King George tonight, he was going to look for her.

After all, they were best friends. They had to count on each other for everything.

_______________________

DO YOU HEAR THAT SOUND? THAT'S MY HEART BREAKING

I CRIED WHILE WRITING THIS NGL