Gerard Way Oneshots

#24: Control

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[Trigger Warning: mental hospital, hallucinations]

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Day 52

I have not slept in a while. I made a horrible mistake writing about the villains. They came out one night, screaming for help at the edge of my bed. They wanted to stay alive. They told me that they would kill my family and everyone I knew if I didn't let them live. So I wrote about them. It is what kept them alive.

I hate this mental institution. The doctors tell my parents that I might never be getting out of here. My parents aren't here to visit me. Everyone at this institution acts as if my mind is some deadly disease or something. Even some of the children here are scared of me.

But I always have to write in this stupid notebook. Sometimes I feel that it is the last sane part of me left. The villains just never shut up. They taunt and threaten, begging for me to write about them. I don't want my family or peers to die because of my villains.

I know the doctors read this notebook. They gave me it fifty-two days ago, telling me to write down my thoughts and feelings. I don't want them to examine the villains, because then they might come after the doctors too. The doctors are no help, though. I heard one of them say that I was a helpless case. I know that the villains will never go away anyways.

***

Day 53

There was someone at my bedside tonight. He had strange red hair and dressed in leather. I flinched and grabbed my covers as I saw him.

I asked him if he was a villain, and he shook his head no. I didn't believe him.

***

Day 54

The villains have been gone two nights in a row now. I still see the strange man sitting at the edge of my bed, watching me. I thought that if maybe I pretended to sleep, he wouldn't notice me.

He seemed to have the features of a villain, though. He always appeared out of thin air and could float through things, but he wasn't begging me to keep him alive like the others.

I threw a fit this morning when I realized that I was writing about the red-haired man. The doctors had to come in and restrain me from breaking stuff. I didn't like the weird jacket they put on me.

They said that I went to sleep after I threw a fit. It was strange, because I never remembered falling asleep.

But I am still angry. The red-haired man is not going to leave now. He is going to be alive forever.

I don't want him here.

***

Day 55

I watched the red-haired man reach out and touch my arm. He didn't know I was awake. I tensed up and prepared for the touch, but I felt nothing. His arm went right through me. I was scared now.

He finally spoke. He told me not to be afraid, and that he was here to protect me from the villains. He said that his name is Gerard. I am still not sure if I trust him. How could he make the villains go away? I already wrote about them, so they can't go away.

I got to see more of his face. I noticed that he had a worried expression on his face every time that I see him. I wait for him to appear at my beside every night. I don't know what he is going to do next.

***

Day 56

My day started out fine. It was normal. I woke up, and the doctors brought me breakfast. They said that I couldn't be around people for one more day. I didn't care. The other people in the hospital never talked anyways.

I read some books and watched a movie for the rest of the day. It was the same routine every day. Nothing changed.

But I got nervous when I went to bed. The Gerard wasn't there. I could start to hear the villains' voices. I got out of my bed and paced around the room, afraid of what would happen with the red-haired man.

I paced around for hours on end, feeling scared and alone. I almost hit the button that would send the doctors in here, but I didn't want them to give me any more of the gross medicine.

The villains were extra loud today. It took a while before I saw them. They were trying to scare me again. I jumped at the slightest of sounds. I curled up in my bed, waiting for the Gerard to get rid of the villains screaming. He was not coming. I was starting to cry out of fear.

But then he was standing there. As soon as I locked eyes with him, the sound of the villains drowned out.

"I'm here," Gerard said, and repeated it again and again. "You're going to be okay, I'm here."

***

Day 57

I stopped being afraid when Gerard, the red-haired man, started to have more weight on him. His body didn't feel so villain-like. He started to have the skin of an actual person, although the weight of him was light. I could feel his touch during the night now.

I never opened my eyes when he did it, but he was holding me. I knew he wasn't holding me down like the doctors did when I was angry, because it was a pleasant feeling. I felt warm and safe.

The villains paid no visits tonight.

***

Day 58

As if by schedule, Gerard entered the room at night. Only, he didn't appear out of thin air. He opened the door with a loud creak. He apologized for waking me up and startling me.

I looked at his face. It wasn't the usual pale, grey color. His skin was the same color as mine. He wasn't see-through at all anymore. He was normal.

I stood up to get a better look at him.

He threw his arms around me. I could feel his pulse beating. He blinked tears out of his eyes.

Gerard was real.

***

Day 64

I have not written in a while, because nothing different happened. Gerard started to come in my room during the day and night. We would talk a lot, just like normal people. He held me at night again, too. I told him that I wanted him to be there in case the villains came back. I felt very safe with Gerard.

My parents met him this week, too. They said that he was a nice friend. I knew for sure that he was real if my parents were seeing him too.

***

Day 71

I passed all of my tests today. The doctors said that I did really well, and that they were glad that the villains were gone. I could go home now.

My mom and dad even let Gerard stay with us all the time. He came day and night again. They all told me that it wasn't safe to be writing in this notebook, because they knew it could lead to the villains coming back.

I still wanted to write. I was not afraid of the villains coming back anymore. I was not afraid of going back to the mental hospital anymore. I had someone there to keep me safe.

Gerard was real.