His Mistress

Eighteen: His mistake

Levy

Dammit!
I had planed to tell her.
I couldn't tell her now.
How could I tell her that I, just like her mother, was a cheater?
All afternoon, I listened to her complain about her mother. How she was a bad woman and a hypocrite. How she would never cheat on someone she loved.
We talked for hours.
No sex, just words.
There was no doubt Athena and I had a connection. It was impossible to deny the chemistry between us. I watched as she slept in my arms, clearly upset about what her mother did.
There was no way I could tell her now.
I breathed deeply.
I had to break up with her... It was the only logical thing to do. I didn't want to be the one to hurt her. I looked at her again. This time I studied her more intently.
I looked at her smooth face, beautiful and flawless even in sleep. I looked at how her hair fell effortlessly, surrounding her with thick curls. I took a strand and pushed it back behind her ears. I looked at the way she sniffled her nose while she slept, probably due to all the crying she had just done. I couldn't break up with her.
Right now I was all she had. The one she could rely on. Out of everyone, she came to me when she was upset.
This made me feel good.
It made me feel important.
But man, I screwed up.
How did I get myself into this situation?
Was I really falling for the woman I was having an affair with?
I've known her for a few weeks and I've known my wife for years.
Maybe this was a sign. It was time to end things with my wife. For the past year, we've been fighting. We haven't been getting along.
Our relationship has been dead for some time now.
With Athena, I felt alive again. I decided it was time. I wouldn't only do it for her, but for me.
And I was going to do it tonight.

As much as I didn't want to leave her laying here alone, I had to talk to my wife tonight.
If I didn't do it tonight, I didn't know when I would do it.
I was ready. I planned the words I'd say, the words I was going to use to end my marriage.
I quietly got up from the bed, surprised that I was able to move Athena on it without waking her up.
I walked to my car, practicing the speech I had just made up in my head.
It was still early in the night, which meant she would still be up by the time I got home.
I got in my car and, still practicing my speech, drove to my house.

When I spotted her car in the driveway, I inhaled deeply. It was time. I inserted the keys in the door and turned the lock. When I opened the door, I noticed a light in the living room on.
I went to the living room to turn it off and was startled when I saw my wife sitting on the couch.

"I thought you had only one morning class today," she said.
"Good evening to you too, Julie," I said as I sat my briefcase down on the sofa.
"Why are you always coming home so late? Are you avoiding me?"
"No, that's not it."
"So what is it?"
We stared at each other for thirty seconds.
It was very easy practicing my speech, but presenting it was another story.
She took a deep breath and replaced her pursed lips with a smile.
"You know what, never mind," she said. "I have good news that might just turn this whole conversation around."
She got up from the chair and approached me.
She took her right hand and softly touched my right cheek. She then dropped her hand and let it fall to her stomach where she held it there a little while. "Levy, I'm Pregnant"

**
I stood there for minutes.
I just watched her hands, which stayed firmly on her stomach.
The words couldn't escape from my lips.
The speech I had prepared was now jumbled up words in my mind.
My jaw clenched.
I became angry.
I wanted to blame her. This was her fault. How could she be pregnant? How could her body just allow her to carry my child?
Again, I was being selfish.
I knew it was my fault.
I knew exactly when she conceived.
It was the night I had fantasized about Athena.
It seemed like such a long time ago.
It was a month ago.
I didn't even think about the repercussions.
I wasn't thinking at all.

"Levy!" She snapped me out of my thoughts.
She stared at me, waiting for a response.
When I didn't give her one, she continued to talk.
"I thought this was what you wanted. You're the one who suggested this last year and the year before. You've been dreaming of having a boy for years. I thought you would be happy about this."
"Julie, having a baby is not going to fix our marriage."
"Fix?" She took her hands off of her belly.
"I didn't know our marriage was broken."
She sat back down on the sofa.
"So you have been ignoring me." Her voice was soft. She was hurt.
I couldn't be mad anymore.
"Juju, I haven't been avoiding you. Work is just busy, that's it."
She sat still.
"Where's your wedding ring huh Levy? I haven't seen that thing on your finger for months."
"You know it's being fixed from the chip."
"It shouldn't take two months to fix a small chip on a ring."
"Julie, don't change the subject. This is not about a ring, it's about the life decision you're about to make."
"Yes Levy, a life decision that you've always wanted."
"Don't have this baby just because of me. If you don't want to have it, you don't have to have it," I told her.
She looked at me, shocked expressed on her face.
I knew I was saying all the wrong things. I couldn't help it.
This conversation was not supposed to go like this at all.
"Are you seriously telling me to have an abortion right now?" She said rising from her seat once again.
This time she was angry.
She pushed me.
"You jerk!"
"I'm a jerk? Julie, you never even wanted to have a child until you were at least six years into your career. I begged you for years and now all of a sudden you want children. Out of the blue? You can't tell me you're doing it for yourself. I know you're using this baby as an excuse to save whatever is left of this marriage."
She started to breath heavily. Her chest rose and dropped with every breath she took.
She stepped closer to me, our lips almost touching.
"Like it or not, we are having this baby. If I have to have this baby in order for you to stay, then God knows I will do it. I will keep this marriage together come hell or high water. Even if I have to keep this relationship together with glue or tape, you are not leaving me!"
"Do you know how crazy you sound right now?"
"I don't give a damn! Do you really want to be one of those deadbeat fathers who leave their children?"
I looked at her. She hit a soft spot. She knew I would never leave my child like my father left me. She had me trapped and she knew it.
She backed off and walked towards the stairs.
"And levy," she added, just before starting up the stairs. "If you're still thinking about leaving me, with the help of my mother, the lawyer, and my father, the judge, I will take everything you own and ruin your life."