Changing My World

Depressingly Shocking

"He's been drinking again" said my aunt in dismay as she too joined us in my bedroom.

"So he's a drunk now as well?!"

"Well what else am I?"

"You're a murderer and you know it!"

"If you're on about your parents, they deserved to die!"

I was gobsmacked. He didn't deny it, he didn't even try to pin the blame on anybody else or say everything happens for a reason.

"You know what..." I began as I cried. "You don't deserve me. You don't deserve the right to look after me or even speak to me and one day, one day you'll feel the way you make me feel because I will have won. I will be back at Ashdene Ridge and EVERYBODY will know what you did!"

"That's it I'm calling the police..." He said, pulling his phone out of his pockets.

"Oh please do. I'm sure they would love to hear all about how you left me alone for two days, locking me away, oh yeah and how you keep a GUN UNDER YOUR BED!"

"How do you know about that?!"

"I know a lot of things."

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Ryan's POV

It's been two days. I'm still not over it. Not anywhere near.

I didn't give her a chance, maybe if I had she would have been able to explain and I would have been able to tell her that we can still be together. Because we can. Or...we could.

I'm getting really worried though. She hasn't called, she hasn't emailed Mike, she hasn't sent any letters or anything. I know she doesn't have a phone but surely she can borrow one.

It's scary, not knowing what she is doing. When she lived here I could ask her. She would either be downstairs with the others, or up in our bedroom.

Her bed is still there, with her bedcovers. Mai Lee tried to take them yesterday but I stopped her. It feels like the last little part of her is still there.

Mai Lee called us down for dinner. I don't want to face everyone but I'm hungry and its Mac and cheese.

I was the last one to reach the dining room and I reluctantly took my seat at the edge of the table next to Carmen and opposite Floss.

"Ryan can I have Marie's address?" Floss asked.

"Why do you want it?"

"To send her this" she said holding up a handmade card that said 'I really really miss you' with a picture of who I'm guessing is Floss with tears drawn onto her face in crayon.

"You can get it off Harry" I said looking down at my plate and picking up my fork.

"What's your problem?" Carmen snapped.

"Carmen..." Mai Lee warned.

"No I'm sorry but we all miss her ok? You don't have to start being rude just because your precious girlfriend isn't here!"

"She's not my girlfriend!" I snapped.

"Yeah and I'm a flying pig!"

"It's true" Jody interrupted. "Marie told me. They broke up"

"What? Why?" Floss asked in complete and utter shock.

I paused for a moment. It still hurts.

"She didn't want me to be upset...when she...left..."

"So she dumped you so that you wouldn't miss her?" Tee asked, suddenly really interested.

"Didn't really work did it?" Tyler asked.

There was an awkward silence. Nobody said or did anything until suddenly, Harry got up out of his seat and walked all the way round the table.

He came to me and held his arms out to me and gave me a hug. I hugged him back. He pulled away and said "stay strong Ryan. Marie wanted you to be happy"

"Can I write a message in it?" Toni asked.

"Me too!" Billie said happily.

"We all should" Carmen said, receiving a weird look from everybody. "What? I miss her too"

"Yeah, Marie would want to hear from all of you" Mai Lee said.

Hearing her name made it hurt more. One minute we were in love, the next, she won't even stay in the same bedroom that night.

Everyone wrote their own little messages. I made sure to be the last to write in it. What I have to say to Marie is private and personal. I don't want any of this lot knowing.

I then offered to post it for Floss which she agreed to luckily for me. I mean she is only like 9 but I don't even want her to read it. She would never be able to understand.