Life's Second Chances

Forty-One

Gripping the doorknob of Sid's hospital room, I finally let out the breath I've been holding. The relief, while short-lived, floods through my lungs and stomach giving me a moment of solace. My mind is in all sorts of turmoil that I can't possibly think straight right now, but one thing is for sure I have to do whatever it takes to save Sidharth's life.

Resting my forehead against the hard yellow-oak wood door, I hide behind the cloak of my black hair shielding my face, losing the fight with my heart and succumb to the silent tears pouring down my cheeks. The weight of my reality finally hitting me head-on.

"Anuksha," gruff and throaty, I recognize Ranbir's voice from down the hall. Frantically wiping my tears, I swallow clearing my throat before I face him. Cantering down the hallway in a wrinkled white t-shirt, gray sweatpants and slides, he looks like he just rolled out of bed and came down here.

"How's he doing? Are you okay?" anxiously his eyes scan over my face, instant recognition causing his features to stiffen probably from my red eyes and swollen face. Pulling me into his chest, he wraps his arms around my shoulder and head. "He'll be fine, there has to be something we can do,"

Shaking my head, I back away hitting the door. "They are no more options, Ranbir. This is it," gripping his unruly black hair in a tight fist, he pounds the walls, cursing loud enough to quiet down the nurse's station down the hall.

Entering the room, I stop by the foot of the bed, suddenly cold. Guilt pangs through me hitting me right in my gut making me feel nervous and ashamed. Unable to move further, I watch Sidharth lying there.

Cleaned up of blood, his sharp nose and stern pout are hidden behind a clear oxygen mask strapped around his head. His muscular chest and shoulders tighten around the hospital grown with every slow, labored breath he takes. An ivy pokes out the inside of his elbow where the naturally swollen veins his arms lightly throb to the steady beat of his heart. His hands fisted by his thighs, are pale but hold the anger of our argument hours ago.

Making my way to the side of the bed which is too small for his tall frame-causing his large feet to uncomfortably push against the foot rails-I gently reach out to stroke his stubbly jaw. Slowly I sit in the armchair next to the bed, flattening my palm against his chest, while holding his hand.

"This is my fault. He wouldn't have relapsed if I didn't argue with him,"

"None of this is your fault, Anu. His body rejected the treatment, you've done all you can to keep him healthy thus far,"

"I could've done more. I wasted so much time being resentful and angry when I could've been there for him,"

"Sid is a fighter. Always was and always will be. Trust me if arguing caused his relapse, he would've been in here months ago...stubborn fucker that he is," chuckling, Ranbir jabs Sid on the shoulder, staring at his best friend with a hidden fear only shown by the sorrow in his hazel eyes.

"He has been fighting his entire life, it pains me to know how much one person can possibly go through and still live and love the way that he does. How much more does he have to fight, it's just not fair,"

"Unlike then, he has you now and that makes the biggest difference in the world," reaching over the bed he grips my hand on Sid's chest, squeezing it lightly. "But just remember you don't have to do this alone. I'm here for both of you," mustering a smile, I rest my head against Sid's bicep, patting my hand down his stomach.

"If you can, please check with aunty Jaya, she must be going out of her mind right now. Just tell her Sid and I went on a last-minute trip upstate to the cabin and you're trying to get a hold of us,"