Life's Second Chances

Nineteen

Anu

"I am not letting you go through this alone, Sidharth," I hold his hand to my chest, lowering my mouth to peck each of his knuckles. I admire how slender and long his fingers are, and the sheer size of one of his hand alone are both of mine.

"Anuksha, don't ruin the moment," kissing the top of my head, he wraps his arms tighter around me, pulling my back to his chest.

"If you've lost track of time, we've sat here for two hours, I would say that the moment has passed," chuckling I slant my head back, to look up at him.

"One second or ten lifetimes, time still goes by too fast when I have you are in my arms," pressing his lips to my forehead he leaves them on the spot right above my tika. I feel them like an etching into my skin, permanently marking me.

"That's why we need to make good on the time we have left. Take me with you. It doesn't matter where you're going, as long as we're together, happy and safe," sitting up on the bench I gather his hands in my lap, squeezing onto his wrists as I plead to him.

"Can you stay away from your family and friends for an undetermined amount of time? Will you be able to have limited to no contact with anyone besides me? When I said seclusion, I meant in its purest and absolute definition,"

"Exile to die,"

"Yes. Are you able to watch me die? Can you honestly look me in the eyes and tell me you are prepared to see me spending the last days of my life confined to a bed, barely the man I am now? These are hard sacrifices to make, you think of only what happens now, there're months of terrible anguish to come, love,"

"For one second can you please stopping looking at me like I'm this weak and overly fragile girl? I can give up everything to be with you, Sid. I rather be at your side and make sure you're well taken care of in your last hours than being across the world going insane wondering if you're alive or dead,"

"I hope you know what you're agreeing to," his eyes wander into the dark night, looking past the surrounding trees. Jaw tense and eyes stern, I know he's not happy with the decision but he is smart by not fighting me on it any further.

We're walking hand-in-hand on a stone path between the gardens, reminiscing and fantasizing about what we wanted the future to be like. Feeling weighed down by the heavy jewelry on my head, neck and wrists I loosen out my dupatta, letting Sid hold it open as I pull the kangan from my wrists. He helps me untie the Rajputana necklace, while I unhook the chains from my maang-tika and nose ring. My sore ears are finally relieved of the pressure in the lobes when I take off the jhumka and proper circulation returns to up lower arm when I untie the bajubandh armlets. He ties the dupatta like a sack and throws it over his shoulder as I let my hair down out of the bun it's been tied up in for the past couple hours.

"You're so unimaginably beautiful," his fingers grip the bare skin on my waist pulling me into him. A heartbreaking smile slightly curves his lips saying more than words ever could. He's scared but won't admit it.

"So are you," the bright full moon reflects in his scotch colored eyes and it's the most dazzling thing I've ever seen. My breathing slows amazed by how innocent his eyes reveal themselves to be, so raw and free for the first time ever. In that moment our lips brush slowly, both nervous yet confident at the same time, placing a final seal, a permanent mark onto each other's soul.

"In my heart, I know I belong with you but my mind is screaming telling me to let you go, that I'll just do to you what I've done to everyone else in my life and ruin you,"

"No, you're saving me by keeping me close, love," draping my arms around his neck I step on my tippy toes deepening our kiss. He hums deep, losing his grip on the sack to hold my face. We're tongue deep and out of breath but neither of us wants to let go.