[9] guardian angel (pt.1)

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Used to be - Beach House

Summary

Tyler is Josh's guardian angel.

***

The door was locked. Tyler and Josh laid alone together in bed. With nothing around them but each other, it seemed like the ideal setting, but it wasn't. Tyler stared into Josh's brown eyes, tracing every edge of his corneas in his mind and letting his eyes lower to Josh's lips, watching as he breathed out and pursed his lips together, shutting his eyes. He raised a hand and clasped it against Josh's cheek, feeling the warmth emitted from it, but Josh felt nothing. He didn't see Tyler staring in awe at him, or feel those fingers running along his jaw as they laid in bed, because Tyler wasn't alive.

Tyler was that voice in Josh's head that made him feel like things weren't right, and allowed him to avoid potentially harmful situations. He was there whispering to Josh that he was alright when he was going through terrible depression. From the moment Josh was born, it had been Tyler's job to watch over him, to keep him safe, and he couldn't think of anyone else he'd rather watch over. Tyler was Josh's guardian angel.

There were millions of guardians just like Tyler, each of them with their own person to guide. What we called our subconscious voices was actually a protector watching over us. Guiding us. Watching us from a one sided mirror. Not everybody had one. Those who were deserving were awarded with protectors, and some guardians were given more power than others. Tyler could only speak to Josh like a voice in the back of his head, but there were guardian angels who could do much more. If someone was headed into oncoming traffic, some had the ability to pull you back. If you were ever alone at night in a dangerous place, some could influence potential attackers and make them walk away. They were all different, but shared a common desire to keep their people safe.

Tyler was no exception. Watching Josh grow and mature into the young man he is now wasn't easy. Protecting him was simple. It was basic instinct to Tyler to keep Josh from harm. The hard part was coming to love somebody who literally didn't know you existed. To those high schooler's who believed their crush didn't even acknowledge them, there's always the possibility that they'd bumped into you, or saw you passing in the hall. Tyler had laid beside a person for years who had no idea that he was there, watching him. Caring for him. Loving him.

Every touch from Tyler, every plea, every whisper, it all fell on unobservant ears. Tyler hated to admit that he enjoyed the times when Josh was in danger, because it meant that for one moment he could speak to him. He would speak to Josh, and Josh would hear him loud and clear, telling him to steer clear of trouble.

Josh meant everything to Tyler. He would sacrifice himself to help to save Josh without a moment of hesitation, and he could if things ever got too bad. If Josh were ever to be in hospital, lying hopeless as his heart is kept beating by life support, Tyler could give up his eternal existence to give Josh just a few more years of mortality. It was a rare case for a guardian angel to give up their existence for their person, but not uncommon. Those who loved undoubtedly would give up everything. What we assume is a miracle is actually a hard decision made by a guardian, willing to keep us alive. They say your parents feel the most for you because they've been with you the longest, but that isn't always true.

Tyler has been with Josh ever since he was born, and that is meant literally. There hasn't been a single moment that the two had been apart. From his first step, to his first word, to his first kiss and first school dance, Tyler has been at his side through everything, which makes being near him so much harder.

He would give anything for Josh to see him, to hear him, to love him the way he loves Josh. After years of loving Josh, Tyler would give anything to be together for just five minutes. Five minutes is all it would take for him to tell Josh just how much he cares for him. Admires him. Loves him. Josh was Tyler's living, beating heart. Without him, he saw no purpose in his existence. He was warned that this might happen when he signed up for guardianship, but he did it anyways; though, he doesn't regret it.

Even if he is unaware of his existence, Tyler is glad to have loved Josh. To have known him. To be the person who got to be beside Josh his entire life.

***

I've been wanting to write a book about a guardian angel falling for the person that he/she/it protects for a while, but I'm unsure of how overused this kind of plot is. Plus, I'm unreliable with long books. It's miraculous I managed to finish one, even if it was written by an illiterate pile of dribble (aka me 3 months ago), so anyway, I'm going to do the guardian angel thing here in about two or three chapters (probably two. I'm unreliable, as previously stated)

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