Until We Fly

Chapter 38: Say Our Silent Farewells

As soon as I opened my eyes, I could feel it.
The darkness, spreading through every part of me.

I was changing again.

I looked over my body.
It has spread so much.
Too much.

Looking around, I saw that I was laying beneath the shielded Willow. Köleil lay against the trunk, supposedly unconscious.
But she looked paler than normal...

I could hear Darks clawing at the shield, only just hidden by the hanging branches.
I forced myself up, ignoring the sick feeling and the light headedness as I stumbled towards the outside.

I couldn't stay in there.
If I turned, I'd hurt Köleil.

Whether I got attacked or even killed didn't matter.
I just had to make sure she was going to be safe.

But something was wrong.
This change, it felt so much stronger than the others.
It seemed my entire body was covered in those small, black cobwebs.
I didn't even want to imagine what my face must have looked like...

I didn't have time to worry about that.
I had to get far away from that place.
Far away from Köleil.

My phone buzzed.
It was Jake.

'This is your last turn. I couldn't help you in time. I've been trying. But it's too late for you now.'

I held the phone with shaking hands as tears brimmed in my eyes.
Was this really it?

I was really going to become one of those...monsters?
My body hit the shield.
I was trapped.

I collapsed to the ground.
Of course, Darks couldn't pass the shield.
And I was practically Half-Dark already.

'I'm sorry.'

I dragged my body across the grass, calling out to Köleil.

'But you aren't going to make it, James.'

Her eyes opened slowly and her breaths were shallow.
She looked weak.

'I tried, I really did.'

"K-Köleil! You need to get away from here!"
I whispered, my voice hoarse and rough.

"James...I am...not leaving you..."

'I never meant for it to end like this. You're a good guy. Make sure Köleil is safe. I'll come and find her when I can.'

"Please, Kö...you don't understand...I'm-"

"No. For once, I do understand. I know what's happening to you James but I refuse to just leave you like this."

"Listen to me, I'll hurt you! I'll kill you! This is my last change! After this, I won't be James anymore!"

"And if you're not James than I can never be a complete Köleil!"
She stuttered, her lip quivering as she fought back tears.
"You expect me to just be able to carry on without you?! I need you, James! You're part of me now and I don't care what happens to me. I'm your Guardian a-and as your Guardian I will stay by your side to the very end!"
Her tears fell.

"Köleil....I couldn't...if I ever hurt you..."

Köleil moved her hand forward, placing it over mine.
"Then I will withstand the pain. All those other people, all those other souls, they were all alone! No one was there for them when they changed! So I will stay with you!"

"...please..."

"James, for once, just let me make my own decision. This is what I want. I can't lose you and...I'll get reset in the end anyway. This way is better. For both us."

I stared into her confident, teared up, determined eyes before my body fell against the trunk.
I couldn't even hold myself up anymore.

But I had to hold it back.
There was no way I'd hurt Köleil.
Never in all of my life and beyond.

Köleil lay down against me, holding my hand tightly.
"...it's okay. Death isn't as scary as it seems. I've had it before. But this time...I can finally stay dead...and with you."

I wrapped my arms around her and buried my face into her hair, letting the tears flow freely.
"I...I'm sorry, Kö...I never wanted it to be like this..."

"I've thought about death many times. And every now and then, I craved it. Throughout a Guardian's life, we have to watch so many people die. People we care about. We end up wanting it for ourselves. But no matter how desperately we wanted it, it's still scary when it happens. Are you scared, James?"

The rain pittered and pattered against the shield. Only that and the faint sound of Darks broke our silence.

"...yeah...I'm not as brave as you, Kö. You're so, very brave..."

"...it's hard to accept that you are about to die...but once you do, it's impossible to think otherwise. I did once but Jake came to save me. Though I still thought I would die. Jake didn't give up. Jake was so nice...James?"

"Yeah?"

"Why did Jake do that?"

"Save you?"

"No...save Jūx. Help the bad guy."

"It's...it's hard to explain, Kö. Humans are strange."

"So...is he a bad guy now?"

"No, no...he's just...confused. In the end, he's still a human. He's still just a kid. A kid who lost a lot. He knew Jūx had to die and he thought he could do it. But in the end...when it really came to it...he just couldn't watch someone kill his brother."

"...why not?"

"Because...when you love someone...so, so much...you fight for them. You fight for them to the very end. No matter how much he's done, Jūx is still Jake's brother. So...I kind of understand."

Köleil buried her face into my chest.
"I don't...humans are weird."

"Heh...yeah. We are."

Each breath I took felt a little more difficult than the last.
It was so hard to hold back.
But I just wanted to be with her.
Just for a little longer.

Köleil's arms shook and she looked up, tears falling down her face.
"James...I really want to say something...but...I don't know what it is!"

I smiled.
"It's okay. You don't need to say anything..."
I leaned forwards, pressing my lips against hers without hesitation.
She stayed still, shocked for a moment but soon closed her eyes too.

Both our hands interlocked as we shared that single moment of just us.
Just me and her.
James and Köleil.
Warrior and Guardian.

No...just...
Us.

Yeah.
Just us.

No special names, no titles, no labels.
Just me and her.
And it was perfect.

Neither of us wanted to move.
I didn't want to pull away.

But I'd have to soon.

Opening my eyes slightly, I saw a gentle glow behind Köleil.
Gold.
Silver.

Coming from her.....

Back...

Gold?
Silver?
Sun?
Moon?

No...this was both...

This was...

An Eclipse