Hetalia One-Shots

2pHetalia x Immortal!Insane!Reader-Sarcasm

'You've got me shaking from the way you're talking
My heart is breaking but there's no use crying
What a cyanide surprise you have left for my eyes
If I had common sense I'd cut myself or curl up and die

Sticks and stones could break my bones
But anything you say will only fuel my lungs

Don't mind us we're just spilling our guts
If this is love I don't wanna be loved
You pollute the room with a filthy tongue
Watch me choke it down so I can throw it up.'

You casually walked throughout the broke streets. Flames engulfed all the buildings around you. Ashes and screams of terrors filled the air. You took in a deep breath and happily sighed.

"Oh the lengths you all go through to kill me~" you sang. A knife whizzed towards you. You skilfully caught it in between your thumb and fore finger. "You were so close Oliver!"

You turned around to see a glaring Brit. His strawberry blonde hair dishevelled from the rough wind blowing. His light blue eyes swirled with pink venom. He grinned at you psychotically. "I always hit my target poppet."

"Strange, since it's been weeks now, and you haven't hit me once." you smirked, making him sneered at you.

He whipped more butcher knife's your way which you easily dodged. You laughed. "Missed me~!"

'Don't mind us we're just spilling our guts
If this is love I don't wanna be hanging by the neck
Before an audience of death.

You could be the corpse and I could be the killer
If I could be the devil, you could be the sinner
You could be the drugs and I could be the dealer
Everything you say is like music to my ears

You could be the corpse and I could be the killer
If I could be the devil, you could be the sinner
You could be the drugs and I could be the dealer
Everything you say is like music to my, music to my ears'

You quickly ducked as a bloody bat attempted to hit your head. Your (e/c) eyes met with a pair of red ones. You giggled. and kicked him in the stomach, sending him flying backwards. "You're losing your touch Al!" You pulled your favourite blade from your back pocket and flicked it open. "Who's next?"

'Failure find me
To tie me up now
'Cause I'm as bad, as bad as it gets
Failure find me
To hang me up now
By my neck cause I'm a fate worse than death

What a cyanide surprise you have left for my eyes
If I had common sense I'd cut myself or curl up and die'

A blonde Canadian came up behind you . He swung down his hockey stick towards your skull. You jolted back and slashed your sharp knife across his pale chest. He let out an animalistic growl.

"Awww, did it hurt Mattie? I'm sworrie." you cooed manically. He snarled and came back at you. You easily dodged the attack and ducked as a blade swiftly moved towards your neck.

You saw Kuro, the dark haired Japanese man, pull the blade back and attempted to hit you again . You took the opportunity and jabbed your knife into his abdomen. He gasped and spat out thick red blood. You smirked and ripped the blade through him. Blood splattered your clothing. You watched him fall to the ground and you placed a combat boot clad foot on his chest, kicking him away and out of the knife.

You giggled. "Looks like I made quite the mess!" You listened to him shout in pain.

You could be the corpse and I could be the killer
If I could be the devil, you could be the sinner
You could be the drugs and I could be the dealer
Everything you say is like music to my ears

You could be the corpse and I could be the killer
If I could be the devil, you could be the sinner
You could be the drugs and I could be the dealer
Everything you say is like music to my, music to my ears

You heard a war cry as turned to see a very angry Italian by the name of Adamo Vargas. He came behind you and tried to slash though your body. You waltzed out of his reach and tore a large gash through his tan flesh.

"Does it bother you," you asked as Lutz - a man with pale blonde hair and violet eyes- shot a bullet that whizzed past your head.

You took out your pistol and shot a hole through his shoulder. "That I can't die,"

Al came back around with his bat and swung it so hard your way a few nails flew out. You smirked and kicked his jaw. Successfully breaking it. "Like you mortals?" Al screamed bloody murder as you slammed your boot on his rib cage.

His brother Oliver ran over to you and poured gasoline on you and the ground around you. Yang, their Chinese friend, lit a match and tossed it your way.

The match made contact with the ground and you exploded into flames. You screamed at the top your lungs as the flames began to sting your skin.

The men gathered together. All coated in sweat and blood. Exhausted from the war, they began to stumble, but finally calmed. Knowing the war was over.

But they were wrong.

For out of the dyeing flames emerged a dark, menacing figure. You chuckled. "You must have forgotten, haven't you?" You stepped closer towards the ferocious men. "This is only the beginning."

They snarled and lunged towards you, weapons held high.

"I can never die."

'Don't mind us we're just spilling our guts
If this is love I don't wanna be loved
You pollute the room with a filthy tongue
Watch me choke it down so I can throw it up.

Don't mind us we're just spilling our guts
If this is love I don't wanna be hanging by the neck
Before an audience of death'