The Understanding (Bk 1 Otago Series)

Chapter 20- Coping with a Night Out

We shared a quiet meal, on our knees and chatted for a good hour before Trace grabbed our plates. Then she bought out a box of Trumpets, a Tiptop creation and Kiwi icon. One of my favourite ice-cream desserts. Ice cream in a waffle cone with chocolate and nuts on the top. We had decided to watch a Vin Diesel Fast and Furious. It wasn't the movie that I had on my mind though. Cassie had curled her legs under herself and leant her head back on the sofa just along from me. I wanted her close, but after what I told her this afternoon I didn't know where she was with all that, and how we stood, because she had seriously just shut down. I felt that what we had would survive a separation. It had too, it meant too much to me. But did she share my confidence?

I reached for her not knowing what her reaction would be. In the semi dark room, with the flicker of the TV screen I could see that Trace had crawled on the sofa beside Dave and they were lying full length side by side on the sofa. I traced the edge of Cassie's check with my finger, cupped her face with one hand, and waited for her reaction. She leant into my hand and briefly shut her eyes, my stomach clenched at the intimacy of that. Something about the fact that she was acknowledging me, and my need to touch her, and that it was ok. Not needing any more encouragement and knowing that I wanted to feel her close to me, I quietly reached under her body bridal style and pulled her across my knee. Cassie looked up at me in startled surprise and smiled sadly at me. She had been guarded with me, but something about being able to touch her disarmed her. Could I tell her how I feel? Was I ready, was she ready? I leant my head in taking her lips, and tasting her. They were cool from the icecream, as she let out a small laugh of surprise I let my tongue drift into her mouth and slowly roam around. She leant her head back on my shoulder and I deepened the kiss. There was a loud car chase on screen as I laid her head back towards the armrest, hovering above her briefly before lifting my legs and laying down beside her. She slipped her leg back between mine and tucked her bottom in firmly against my pelvis. For the next half hour or so we lay like this stroking each other or reaching out, whenever we felt we needed to.

I was startled when Cassie turned to me and whispered, "Do you want to go? I am sure they won't mind." I looked over and it seemed as if Trace had drifted off to sleep anyway. The thought of finishing the day alone with Cassie was something that I felt a jolt of excitement about. She was just so sexy, and looked so good that I wanted to show her what she did to me, and knowing that I would miss her like hell over the coming weeks was not going to help my resolve of taking things slowly with her.

I made our farewells to Trace and Dave, and saying that I would catch them when I got back. Throughout the whole time, Cassie didn't let go of me. She held my hand slipped her hands to my hips, rubbed my back, and even grabbed the front of my jeans at one point. I had to fight the urge to push her against a wall there and then.

When we got into the 4-wheel drive, she immediately climbed across the seats and met me. She looked up at me and said, " Can I ..." she seemed to hesitate. I leant into her and kissed her lightly. As I lifted away she had closed her eyes. I noticed she kept them closed as she finished saying. "Can we go to your place?"

My heart missed a beat with the excitement of that thought. Having her with me, not having to say goodnight. But wait, that's not what she said. "You want to come back for a night cap or ..." I said quietly.

Tears tracked down her checks and she shook her head, and whispered, "Stay the night, please." Clear resolve showed on her face, not what I had been expecting. Then I realised what she felt so reserved about. "Hey. Don't be concerned. We only need to just be together tonight, As much or little as you want. Please just talk to me ok, don't shut me out."

She nodded quietly and turned to bury her head in my chest. A habit that she had developed and that I enjoyed. I could feel her tears through my shirt and her breathing in and out against my chest and I felt so alive. If I had been conscious of searching for my purpose in life, then I would have realised that I had just found it. Being with Cassie was my purpose, my life. She had my heart in ways that nobody else ever had.