Alsina's Boys

It's My Birthday Part 1

And I seen him step in a take care of Octavian, like he had birthed him, himself. Maybe that's why I can accept Na so easily. My father never had a problem taking care of a child that wasn't his. He had a certain compassion for the human spirit that way.

He worked his way up from a janitor to one of the top dentist in Atlanta.  But he always reminded us, I go out here everyday and work my ass off for one reason- my family. So you never have to go without a roof over your head, food on your table, clothes on your back or an education.

He would tell me and Amiri all the time, when you get a wife, make sure she never has to lift a finger if she doesn't want to. You make sure that she feels protected and you make sure she feels uplifted.

I remember my young boy mouth asking what he meant by uplifted.

He said, "you see how high that sun is up there."

Me and Miri replied yes.

"You make her feel higher than that through your words and through your actions."

I never forgot that. And no I didn't treat every girl like that, but when I met Ra, I felt like she was somebody worthy of the type of love Pop was talking about.

And the way my Pop couldn't go a second without my mother, I felt that way with Ra. For almost three years she had been my world. She'd seen me go from this nigga that told her I wasn't looking for anything serious. Who was I fooling. 🙄

To a man that even in his young age was willing to be whole heatedly devoted to her. And I messed up. I'm sure my Pop messed up at some point, although we didn't see too much of it except for minor fights when he would pull out the petty. Like not talk to my mother. And say, one day he was going to pack up all his shit and leave when he got really angry. But by morning, he was back up under begging for her forgiveness. Reminding her of all he did for her and how much he loved her and how much he just talked and said shit and she knew he had been like that since she met him at 21.

The more I think about this shit, damn, I am my father. 😩

I wish I could turn this Alsina off. Turn my father off. For once, be  a nigga like Future and move on from one to the next without giving a damn.

But even though my heart is purely breaking from what Ra told me, all I can think about is how I'm going to spend my birthday alone. How I want Ra and Na here even after the bullshit. How I want to be angry and
Just move
The fuck on, but I'm not cause I just love them so much.

"I know you ain't tripping over Miri having your birthday? That's all you used to ask me. Mommy is Miri gonna be born on my birthday. And I'll say, no. And you'll say- Awe man in the cutest voice." My mother said. I almost forgot I was on the phone with her as I was lost in my thoughts.

"I don't know what I was thinking."

We both chuckled.

"You got any plans?"

"Nah Imma just chill out." I yawned.

"I can come down there and we can go to the club together now." My mother did a dance.

"No thank you." I laughed.