14.Choice

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"Holy shit,that's my kill,you motherfucker!",I played League of Legends,already pissed of so much that I might actually break this shitty computer.

I wanted to do something to calm myself,but hell yeah,playing dumb video games was just great idea.

I was always someone with great ideas.

I mean,just look at my whole life where 90% of it was made of bad decisions and my teenage angst bullshit which has body count.

"Damn you..."

Ayato's coming soon,and it's was great because I got so fucking bored till the point where I just sat on the sofa,producing weird noises until I realized how retarded I look so I stopped.

I even thought about how I don't want to bring my neighborhoods nightmares with scary noises.

Just look how caring I am.

Suddenly,one idiot killed me and I used time until my character reborns again to calm myself before I become crazy destructive psycho bitch.

"Okay,Rei...Calm down...Imagine calm waves of Baltic sea which you don't know where the fuck is because you suck at geography but it's fine...You are pro gamer at this so no need to-OH SO THERE YOU ARE YOU SONUVABITCH!BEWARE!I MAY BE SHORT BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU WON'T EXPERIENCE THE WRATH OF GOD!"

You are pro gamer at this so no need to-OH SO THERE YOU ARE YOU SONUVABITCH!BEWARE!I MAY BE SHORT BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU WON'T EXPERIENCE THE WRATH OF GOD!"

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As I used ulti to crash this little noob,I started to think about random things.

Firstable,about what the fuck am I going to eat since I live only on chocolates and coffee.

Some things just never change,huh.

Then I just realized how my life has changed,even my 'healthy' way of living didn't.

How I changed.

And all that happened because of him.

He changed me.

I was always independent person.
I already thought that my life will end up with old,more grumpy me with twenty cats while I draw portraits on streets in black and red grunge shirt and sweatpants with hair that looks like chicken nest and lollipop in my mouth which I found on floor but nevermind,I will sure take it because I'll be failed,homeless artist.

I already got myself used on loneliness so much,that I actually started to like to be alone.

I think I just had no other choice.I had to love my loneliness because I didn't have anyone anymore.

But,it wasn't all black.

Loneliness may be great sometimes,because you got all time to do whatever you want,and it's especially great when you are teenager who's passing by 'nobody understands me' phase.

But loneliness brings sadness.

And like great Yoda said,sadness leads to anger,anger leads to hate,and hate leads to suffering.

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