Chris
"Now, what's going on why are you wearing condoms?"
I was thinking about her the whole day aside from other things, I can't explain the mood change . When she walked in smiling from work I was happy to see her, I don't know what happened .
"For you ."
"Why ?"
"Cause we don't need to have a kid cause I say so, now I'm saying we don't need to have one . Do you ."
"You know damn well I don't like to have you make decisions for me . We could've talked about this together, you don't need condoms Chris . You want to have a baby you know exactly how to get one, I don't understand why you would want to wear condoms ."
"I need to tell you something else ."The color from her face sank a bit "I met this girl, at the strip club and she reminded me of you so much of you ." her demeanor changed, she was ready to hear the worse and kick my ass "We talked and I got to know her, she told me about herself and - ." she cut me off
"This the same girl who I saw you topless in the picture with ?"
"Yes ."
"Go head, I'm waiting to hear the rest ."
She was bossing up crossing her legs placing her hand underneath her chin "We talked and she told me that she's only stripping to be a Pediatrician, she owes 80,000 dollars in student loans . That's going to take a lifetime to pay off, I told her that if she stops stripping I'll give her the 80,000 dollars ."
"Are you out your rabbit ass mind ? You giving 80,000 dollars to some pop bitch ? A bitch that just popped into your life you going to give her 80,000 dollars, are you serious ? You really trying to play me right now, you brought these condom so you could use them on her didn't you ? Fucking me with them is a cover up so I wouldn't suspect anything when I found them, don't lie to me Chris ."
"I'm not fucking her, I'm helping her . It's already done, I wanted to help her that's all ."
She clutched her fist and took a deep breath "You 100% swear on your life that she's just a friend ?"
"I swear, she's just a friend ."
She took in another deep breath and talked in a calmer tone "I don't mind you having female friends Chris, I would feel a lot better if she wasn't a stripper and I didn't already see her ass half naked on you . I'll be okay with this, as long as you don't fuck with her I don't want her around my kids either ."
"All I'm doing is creating the next little Brielle, you have no I idea how much I kept telling her you remind me of my wife ."
"What's wrong with the original that you have to make a new one ?"
"Nothing baby, I just thought I start a little project while I have nothing else to do ."
"You sure ?"
"Yeah, why would something be wrong with you ? You beautiful and you the mother of my kids, nobody can fill your shoes ."
She leaned up to kiss me "Keep it that way ."
"Mommy ! I need you !" Josiah said
"I'll be right back ."
That Ashleigh topic wasn't even something I was worried about, that's not what made me changed when I was talking to Brielle earlier . The point is I'm just not liking my life right now, I been through a lot of shit but I ain't never been through this much shit at once . I didn't think she would mind the condom thing, instead of trying to tell me that I had hidden intentions with them . Brielle never said anything to me about how her life changes when she's pregnant but when we had the twins she hinted at it, she was afraid of having them . When we first found out she thought having four kids was a lot, I figured she was scared to miscarry like she did before . I know how Brielle thinks, when she's silent something is up . When she smiles the way she did, something is going good . I don't want to change how she feels right now, I want that smile to stay . Smile all damn day while I sit my ass on the couch, wanting shit to change knowing it's not going to . I don't feel like talking, these decisions I'm making are driving me crazy .
The next day, we followed the same routine .
"You sure you can handle the kids by yourself Chris ? You was in a whole different element yesterday ."
"I was fine, you going to be late ."
"Behave yourself ."
"I will mommy ." Caeden chimed in
"I was talking to your father, bye baby be good for daddy ." I said giving them both kisses
Caeden was the first to wake up this morning, I already fed him . He wanted to play but I didn't feel like it .
"Daddy you need to shave ."
"You don't like my facial hair ?"
"You look dirty ."
I laughed "Oh yeah, well you smell dirty ."
"No I don't, my mommy gave me a birth last night ."
"Well today is a new day ."
"You a dirty boy ."
"No you are !"
"No you !"
"Don't start none daddy !"
I laughed "You are definitely your father's son, come here boy ."
We chilled out on the couch and watched morning cartoons, I ended up calling my moms to come over and watch them . She came right on time, cause all of them needed to be put down for a nap . I left and went and had time to myself, I wanted to smoke a blunt so bad but I didn't have any weed . I haven't really smoke one since Brielle forced me off the drugs, I been smoking cigrettes to fill the void . But I want a nice fat blunt, just to clear my mind . I didn't want to deal with any of my niggas today, only female friend I had was Ashleigh . I thought I swing by and bring her half the money .
"You came just in time, I had the munchies so I made me some fudge brownies ." she smiled letting me in
"Smells good, I brought you something it's only half for right now ."
"You really didn't have to do this ."
"Enough of that, it's done ."
"Are you hungry, I can make you something to eat ?"
"You can cook ?"
"Yeah, my second career choice was to be a chef ."
"Why hasn't someone wife'd you up yet ?"
She giggled "Cause I don't put out like the average girl ."
"I see you must've got your keys back, your car moved ."
"Yeah, I went and had a heart to heart with my pops and told him I quit . It was a lot of yelling, a lot of I told you so, and finally he gave me back my keys . He was real hurt to see me stripping, it's a daddy's girl thing ."
"I completely understand, I would act the same way if I seen my little girl stripping . I love my daughter to death, everything changes when you have a little girl . I don't know if this is the same for women but to a man, the first born and daughters are important to us . My little man keeps me straight and my daughter keeps me grounded ."
"You want more ?"
"Always ."
"You seem like a good dad ." she smile
"I don't mean to bag, but I don't hear any complaints ."
"I'd love to see them one day and see if they have that Chris charm ."
"Maybe, my second one is just like me though . Needs that ass torn apart every day ."
She laughed "Don't be too hard on him, he's just a baby ."
I smiled "Nah, he's good but he damn sure be asking for it ."
"What are you plans now ?"
"I don't know, I been thinking about a lot of things ."
"You aren't really going to give up music are you ? It's your passion, you love to sing and dance and I really enjoy watching you ." she smiled
"I don't know ."
"I wish there was something I could to make you change your mind ."
I smiled "You can give me some more browines, that's a start ."
