"Goodmorning" Van smiled as I opened my eyes "goodmorning" I groaned with a smile "someone's grumpy" he said "I'm not" I laughed "alright babe what you say" he laughed and stood up I walked into the kitchen and saw with a letter in his hand "another one" he said I sighed and opened it and started reading.
It was quiet, the night you let me go.
I stared up at the millions of stars above me, and wondered what had happened. Thoughts choked the air from my lungs; I couldn't breathe. Not without you there beside me.
It was soft, the night I let you go.
A comet lit up the night sky as brilliantly as you had my life. I watched it soar past and out of sight. It took you along with it; along with my love and i miss you and what it hurts most is knowing that you aren't coming back.
I sighed and closed my eyes I opened them after seconds and putted my skater skirt on a crop top and my shoes and walked out of the door without saying anything.
"Bella! Where are you going!" Van yelled "don't worry I'll be back in an hour" I said
-
I knocked on George's door he opened it "hello-Bella?!" He said I gave him a sad smile "w-what are you doing here I haven't seen you in a long time" he whisperd I nodded "shit come in" he said walked into his apartment "I know you and matty broke-" he started but I cut him off "about that" I said he looked at him "I'm trying to forget him I really am trying but he keeps sending me letters and I'm just" I sighed George looked at the ground "m-matty isn't here anymore" he whispered I looked at him "what do you mean George?" I asked "he's in a mental hospital" he said my eyes widen "and he needs to send you letters well he doesn't need to but his psychologist told him it was a good idea to express his feelings Bella" he said "how many do you have" George asked "two right now" I said he nodded "why is he there" I asked "psychologist told him it wasn't save to stay home on his own I said to them matty could live with me but they said someone needed to look after him 24/7 otherwise things will happen we both don't want to happen" he said I closed my eyes "can you visit him?" I asked he nodded "2 days a week 20 minutes" he said I shook my head "I never thought it would get this bad" I whispered with tears in my eyes "which days?" I asked "Monday and Friday" he said "how late" I asked "Monday's 7pm and Friday's 8pm" he said I nodded "are you planning on seeing him?" He asked I thought for a bit "no I will not it will only break him more when I'll leave again I can't help him!" I said he looked at me "Bella your still in love with him don't deny it!" He yelled a bit "I'm not" I whispered "don't lie!" He said again "okay I am but it's better if I'm not!" I said he looked at him "what if-" he started but I cut him off "I'll go now" I sighed he nodded and gave me a hug "I'm sorry about matty" I said "I'm sorry about matty too" he said
-
I walked into my apartment again and saw Van smoking a cigarette "where were you" he asked "Matty's in a mental hospital" I whispered he looked at me "what" he said I sighed and let a tear slip frowning Van walked up to me and hugged me "how do you know" he Asked "well I wanted to talk about the letters to George but he said matty was in a mental hospital and he needed to send those letters because his psychologist told him it was good for him" I whispered in Van's neck he nodded "I understand" he whispered "so are you gonna visit him?" He asked I broke away "I don't think so it will only fuck him up more" I sighed "maybe not, the last time you guys talked with eachother he was upset and confused about the other day and you were mad and sad right on that moment do you think you guys can talk about things seriously with out screaming yelling crying? No, so maybe you need to talk with him, it's been a while" he spoke he was right damn he was right
I nodded "your right I guess" I said he nodded I texted George that I was going but didn't know where it was, he texted me back with the location and said that he was happy about that I was going to see him.
I sighed "thank you Van" i said
Tomorrow was Friday.
Shit
---
I woke up alone.
I stood up and grabbed some nice clothes.
I walked into the bathroom and saw that I looked like a mess, as usual.
Since the break up I haven't been the same anymore.
Black bags under my eyes my eyes looked tired even when I felt better.
I put on my clothes and my casual heels (outfit above) I brushed my hair and applied a little concealer then I walked into the kitchen and saw Van making breakfast for me " you look amazing love" he smiled I smiled at him "thank you" I said and hugged him from behind he smirked and gave me a kiss on my cheek "don't worry about later" he said I nodded "I've got a speech prepared" I said he smiled "good" he whispered "can I try something" he whispered as we were very close "yea" I whispered
He kissed me.
And I kissed back.
Our lips moved perfectly.
After a while we pulled away he looked me in the eyes "you are absolutely gorgeous" he whispered I smiled a bit
-
We smoked our last cigarettes and i walked outside and sat into my car with Van, Van drove me to matty he said he needed to buy cigarettes anyway, and he'll pick me up.
He started the car and drove off.
"I'm nervous" I sighed "me too" he said
-
I arrived at the hospital and walked in, nervous as ever I arrived at a desk "hello can I see matty Healy" I asked "name? Relationships with mr Healy? Age?" She spoke with a smile "Bella Brooks" I started "friend" I sighed, it kinda broke my heart to hear myself saying I was a friend, I wasn't even a friend "and I'm 22" I said she nodded "second floor room 244" she said with a smile I nodded as a women came up to me and brought me into the elevator I arrived at his floor and felt myself breathing heavily the women opened the door I coudn't look at him, I was so nervous I sighed and stood in the door way the women walked away he looked at me then stood up he coudn't believe his eyes.
I just stood there "Bella" he breathed out "I shouldn't be here" I whispered "please come in" he whispered I walked in and closed to door sitting on a chair, he's room was very small, very.
He looked like he was hit by a truck.
He's eyes were bloodshot and it looked like he haven't eat for days.
He didn't look after himself, he never did.
"Listen I came here because I felt like we didn't really-" I started but he cut me off
"I get it" he whispered with a shaky voice.
•Matty's pov•
"Let me explain" she said in a calm voice
I missed her so much, I wanted to hug her, kiss her, just hold her.
"You know it came sooner or later, our breakup, we didn't, work anymore you know that we can love eachother ofcourse I still love you I love you more then I love any other person" she whispered I bit my lip holding back the tears "but sometimes people can better say goodbye then keep hurting eachother, because to be honest I didn't feel happy anymore the last couple of weeks when we were together" she sighed pulling some hair behind her ear "I'm feeling so empty" she whispered "I can't believe we are- you know" she said closing her eyes "I always hope it's you and me in the end you know" she said I let a couple of tears fall "I rather argue with you every day then be with someone else" I spoke she looked at me "we can't be a couple anymore you know that? Too much happened" she said
"I know thank you for everything just remember I'll always think of you I'll always love and I'll always wish you were next to me" I whispered she nodded "same for me" she said "and I uh remember everything again" I whispered, it was true, I remember every little thing again.
"What really" she said I nodded "oh my" she said "Bella" I said "yea" she said "you always have a piece of my heart" I said as I looked at her, seeing tears falling from her eyes she shook her head "me too I'm so thankful for the good times and that I met you" she said with a nod "I can never be with someone again" I whispered she looked at me "time is over" the security said Bella looked at me "I love you" she said as she stood up I touched her hand "I love you" I said.
This was the last time I probably saw her.
-
It was the last time...
