Chapter Twelve

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Johnnies P.O.V

I heard a knock on my bedroom door and looked up hoping to see Kyle. But nope it was my mom. Every once in awhile she came in to check on me. I haven't went to school since Kyle left and it's been like 4 days. Today was Friday.

"Do you think you could go to school today?" She asked sweetly but hopefully.

I shook my head then burst into tears all over again. She walked over to me and sat on my bed and pulled me into a hug. I cried into her shirt.

"W-why did he have to l-leave," I sobbed.

"He's not 18 yet. He has to go," she told me.

"I know but he hasn't even called," I sighed. She hugged me for a few more minutes then covered me up and closed my bedroom door to go back to doing whatever moms do during the day.

I don't ever remember being this depressed. Ever. Usually if I'm sad I'm just kind of upset but now. Now, I just want to die. Without Kyle I don't have the courage to do anything. I've tried writing songs. I've tried everything but no matter what I can't become happy without him.

I scrolled through facebook and saw a post somebody posted. It was a video of some guy on YouTube. I watched the video and I for once in quite a few days I laughed and it made me happy. I binge watched quite a few of his videos and a few other YouTubers like Dan and Phil and JackSepticEye. It was amazing how they could make a living doing this and have fun while doing it.

This is what I want to do. I want to make people happy when they watch my videos. I want to make people less sad like I did with Kyle. I can do this. It could work. Can't it?

I opened the camera app and set my phone up. I tried to think of a cool first video to make. I decided to just do a 5 facts about me type thing. I filmed the video and to my surprise it wasn't awkward at all. It felt like I was talking to somebody I knew. I happily stopped the video and hooked my phone into my MacBook.

I downloaded a few editing apps and edited the video and made a cool intro. I actually enjoyed editing it too. I made my channel name simply my own name. I uploaded the video and just waited. I turned on Netflix and fell asleep to some random movie.

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When I woke up my phone was blown up with notifications from the YouTube app. I had 47 likes on my video and 23 comments. I scrolled through the comments and I hate to brag but everybody loved me. Well almost everybody there was the usual hate comments like 'emo fag' or 'cut your hair' but for the most part it was a good response. I took that as a sign to make more videos. Maybe I could even post covers or my songs on here.

I fell back asleep because it was 7 AM on a Saturday. Who wouldn't want to sleep in?

Maybe I could get over Kyle with this YouTube thing. Kyle is right. Long distance relationships never work, it's not worth even trying and then having a broken heart all over again. It totally doesn't mean I'm not extremely upset. He was the first person I ever loved. Who am I kidding I still love him with all of my heart.

I do hope he calls or texts though so we can at least still be friends. Maybe even get back together when he turns 18? I guess we will see when the day comes. But if he never calls I will never forgive him. But YouTube can help me not be upset until then. At least lets hope so.

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